From: Squirrel Squad Squeeks

Stick out your tongue

One day, Teh Boy is going to kill us.

Recently as Mama Squirrel and I were driving home from work, I veered off the road and into the parking lot of Taco Loco. Mama agreed with me that we needed a snack before we started dinner. I ordered us a quesadilla of suadero, succulent roast pork. I asked Mama if that would be enough. She left it up to me. I ordered a second quesadilla of carne asada, but they were out. "We have chicken and tongue", we were told. With a quick glance at Mama, I asked for "lengua". Another glance at Mama showed that she was unfazed. The dangerous part is not that Mama accepts me as I am; it's that she encourages me.

We both know by now not to try eating Taco Loco food on the way home. It's insanely hot. Besides, we couldn't eat this without Squirrelly, Jr.

Once we were home, we quickly figured out which quesadilla had the tongue. That is the one we gave Teh Boy.

Not long ago, we brought chicken foot home for Teh Boy to try. That experiment did not go well at all, and he wouldn't speak to us for hours after that. We were holding our breath as he bit into the quesadilla de lengua. No bad reaction. In fact, he dug in. As Mama and I were nibbling on our share of the quesadillas and puttering around the kitchen, Teh Boy sank into a chair and went to town with tongue.

When we asked him what he thought, he said that was the best quesadilla he ever ate. He asked when we could go back. We said we would go again soon and that maybe next time we should try the tongue. His immediate reaction was, "Oh, no. No tongue. I can't eat tongue. I wouldn't like tongue." So here we go. I asked him what he thought was in the quesadilla. He said, "beef". Mama said, "well, yeah." I just made rude gestures with my tongue. He looked at me and asked, "This is tongue?" One tense second passed as we waited to see if his head would asplode before he shrugged and said, "Huh. I guess I like tongue. Can I call Nana and tell her?"

Honestly, Mama and Teh Boy liked the tongue better than I did. I have had tongue once before. That time a big piece of tongue was cooked to doneness and put on a plate. That was pretty bad. At Taco Loco, they dice the meat and season it beautifully. The dish is very good, but the meat has a stronger flavor than I like. Still, I wouldn't hesitate to have it again, especially in one of those quesadillas. They were so satisfying that we never did make dinner.

Now I just have to convince the rest of the squad to try the tripe.

Taco Loco
3035 Lamar Ave
Memphis, TN 38114
(901) 743-9295

Posted by Papa Squirrel

From: Bigger Than Your Head

Shameless Referral to My Website

Posted by Fredric Koeppel under Champagne , Sparkling Wine
No Comments

A few minutes ago I posted on KoeppelOnWine.com a “Featured Article” page that reviews 20 sparkling wines and champagnes, priced from cheap to mind-boggling and designed to fulfill every need you might have for those delightful and profound products. I mean, Christmas is right around the corner! New Year’s is right around
the bend! Let our motto be: “We must have bubbles!”
Here’s the link to that page: http://www.koeppelonwine.com/Featured_Article.asp

From: at home she feels like a tourist

Bars of Memphis?

I like bars. Not all of them, of course. But a good bar is a perfect snapshot of night-time urban sociability: it's messy and chaotic, noisy and dark, full of oddballs, chance encounters, missed opportunities, a curious combination of hope and desperation (but then, there's nothing so curious about that, really), shadowy corners, midnight seduction rituals, poetic profanity, and the allure, promise, danger, and threat of strangers. There are yuppie bars and working-class bars, punk rock bars and trannie bars, dive bars and upscale cosmo-sipping bars, bike messenger bars and Young Republican bars and goth bars and dockworker bars and fashionista bars and Latino bars and everything in between - bars and their clientele represent the full spectrum of crazy, diverse cities. And the best bars jumble together strange and unpredictable combinations of subcultures and ethnicities and classes for a bizarre riot of voices and fashion sensibilties and generally embarrassing dancing styles. They feature well-known quirky regulars, beloved jukeboxes, bartenders who become minor celebrities, distinctive decorations and moods. There's something democratic - in the populist, bottom-up, anti-authoritarian way - about this messy, alchohol-tinged sociability. It's no wonder that bars have long been cradles of the revolutionary spirit in nations teetering on the edge.

But bars can only be as compelling as the city that houses them. So I'm pleased that I've stumbled into some great little places in my 4 months in Memphis. I love the spooky, crumbling, mysterious former brothel on the upstairs floor of Earnestine and Hazels, the crazy jumble of art, junk art, and caricatures covering the walls (and ceiling) at the P&H, and the rundown divey hole-in-the-wall feel of the Buccaneer (to say nothing of the pirate theme!) But I figured I'd ask you, oh knowledgeable readers, for your recommendations. Anything unpredictable, off-the-beaten-path, seedy-in-a-good-way, not in the guidebooks, catering to a truly odd clientele? Unload your thoughts on me - I'm on vacation in Boston, dreaming of M-town...

posted by fearlessvk

From: at home she feels like a tourist

Bars of Memphis?

I like bars. Not all of them, of course. But a good bar is a perfect snapshot of night-time urban sociability: it's messy and chaotic, noisy and dark, full of oddballs, chance encounters, missed opportunities, a curious combination of hope and desperation (but then, there's nothing so curious about that, really), shadowy corners, midnight seduction rituals, poetic profanity, and the allure, promise, danger, and threat of strangers. There are yuppie bars and working-class bars, punk rock bars and trannie bars, dive bars and upscale cosmo-sipping bars, bike messenger bars and Young Republican bars and goth bars and dockworker bars and fashionista bars and Latino bars and everything in between - bars and their clientele represent the full spectrum of crazy, diverse cities. And the best bars jumble together strange and unpredictable combinations of subcultures and ethnicities and classes for a bizarre riot of voices and fashion sensibilties and generally embarrassing dancing styles. They feature well-known quirky regulars, beloved jukeboxes, bartenders who become minor celebrities, distinctive decorations and moods. There's something democratic - in the populist, bottom-up, anti-authoritarian way - about this messy, alchohol-tinged sociability. It's no wonder that bars have long been cradles of the revolutionary spirit in nations teetering on the edge.

But bars can only be as compelling as the city that houses them. So I'm pleased that I've stumbled into some great little places in my 4 months in Memphis. I love the spooky, crumbling, mysterious former brothel on the upstairs floor of Earnestine and Hazels, the crazy jumble of art, junk art, and caricatures covering the walls (and ceiling) at the P&H, and the rundown divey hole-in-the-wall feel of the Buccaneer (to say nothing of the pirate theme!) But I figured I'd ask you, oh knowledgeable readers, for your recommendations. Anything unpredictable, off-the-beaten-path, seedy-in-a-good-way, not in the guidebooks, catering to a truly odd clientele? Unload your thoughts on me - I'm on vacation in Boston, dreaming of M-town...

posted by fearlessvk

From: Bar-B-Log

Smoking Turkeys

For all practical purposes, The Saucier is a libertarian. If you want to smoke, smoke. If you want to do so in a restaurant, knock yourself out. If the restaurateur would rather you didn't, get out. And if you don't want to work in a smoky environment, get another job. Anti-smoking legislation has nothing to do with public health. Like all politics, it's about money, power, control and self-righteousness.

With that, I give you guest Bar-B-Logger, RJA:

The Commercial Appeal today has a story regarding the proposed state-wide ban on smoking in all public buildings, with the focus being on restaurants and bars. I’m not here to argue whether this is a good idea or not, or whether the government should be going into private businesses to tell them what they can and can’t do. The solution seems like common sense to me – let the private business owner set his own policy and the free market will decide whether it’s a valid policy or not.

This is the Bar-B-Log, so if The Saucier will indulge me, I’m going to focus on the story below the fold, the one about The Rendezvous voluntarily initiating a no smoking policy as of Jan 11. I should point out that I’m a small business owner and that my business happens to be tobacco. The fact that they want to change their policy is their business, being able to make our own rules is why we go into business for ourselves. And I don’t dare tell the Vergoses how to run their operation, they run one of the best tourist traps in Memphis. My problem is with the hypocrisy, with these bar and restaurant owners spouting off about health and the well-being of their patrons. Nick Vergos is in the game of trying to get you to cram as much pork into your system as you could possibly handle. I can also visit the Rendezvous, drink draft Michelob after draft Michelob, put my family in the car and drive them across town. But there’s money to be made in fat. And there’s money to be made in beer. And if there was money to be made for him in tobacco, you can be sure Nick Vergos would baste it, chop it or pour it up with as much gusto as imaginable.

From: The Daily Diversion

HOME AGAIN!

Yes, I finally made it back home yesterday. I'm back in the office today trying to catch up on emails, reading Hilltopper Haven, and filling out expense reports.

I logged 875 miles from Friday, December 1st to Sunday, December 10. That's good for $389.38 in my pocket! Not too shabby, huh?

I've decided that I like Chattanooga, just not the drive there. I can't stand going up and down mountains. It's bad enough with me trying to control my vehicle around tight corners at 80 miles per hour, I don't need a tractor-trailer doing the same thing next to me! Those roads over there scare the hell out of me, and I couldn't imagine driving them in the rain, sleet, or snow.

My travels were relatively uneventful though. I got most, if not all, of my Christmas shopping completed (and wrapped too) while I was gone. I still have a couple of ideas, but we'll see if I can make them happen or not.

I had a couple of nice meals while on the road, but with the budget restrictions my job has put us travelers, we had to cut it back a bit. I will make one recommendation... If you happen to travel to Chattanooga, be sure to stop by Sticky Fingers BBQ. It's good stuff. They've got several sauces, which are all tasty! I had the rib sampler, where I could have four different sauces. I didn't get to thoroughly enjoy the habanero sauce because I was full from eating the three other styles. It was spicy though!

I didn't get to go to a couple of places I really enjoyed during my prior trip to Chattanooga though. That one meal, in and of itself, would've eclipsed my daily per diem for food, and I would've had to do some "creative accounting" to get that one paid for. Oh well! Maybe when I take my honey there sometime we can go there (on our own dime. Yikes!).

Really, there's not to much else going on here. I'm getting ready to start up a whole new "project" which will mean that I'll be insanely busy, again. It'll also mean that I might be a bit grumpy! My boss told me this morning that they'd like to have it done by the end of January. I gave him my best "good luck with that" face. We just started a "project", which I have plenty of work to do on, and they want to yank me off of it to start another one. Remember folks, you can only stretch a rubber band so far before it breaks and comes back and slaps you square in the face. Right now, there are a bunch of rubber bands that are pulled pretty damn tight!

On a positive note, since I didn't mean to vier off into something negative... I finally got to see my honey again! It seemed like it had been several weeks since we last saw each other, and I sure did miss her! I guess she missed me a little bit too. I think I made her day by not making her watch any sports yesterday once I got home! We'll see if that trend holds out tonight!

Inflicted on you by John

From: Whining & Dining

Plop, plop, fizz/fizz

Was it the gumbo or the Cajun chili I slurped at lunch at Bluff City Bayou? Or the 40 tons of stress sitting on my stomach? I'm a poster child for heartburn aids this afternoon...

I cajoled my buddy Dave to dig into his stash of ginger ale... close, but still feeling the burn.

Forgot my Tums at home... darn. In extreme cases, I'll even quaff a baking soda cocktail... (perfect prep for those burping contests!)

What works for you when there's a fire in your gut?

Posted by Leslie Kelly

From: Blake's Blog

The Ford machine

Could "Come with me if you want to live" be his new campaign slogan?

Just like the Terminator, Harold Ford Jr. vowed in a story in our local news section today that he'll be back.

But if he runs against U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander in two years, I'm wondering if it'll be his political career that gets terminated.

With Tennessee trending Republican in recent years, any Democrat faces tough odds in a statewide race. Not impossible, as Gov. Phil Bredesen has amply demonstrated, but tough.

The thinking here is that it would be a lot more difficult for Ford to beat a popular incumbent Republican than it would have been to win an open seat against Bob Corker, who had to survive a bruising primary that divided Republican party loyalties.

Losing a close race to Corker apparently didn't do much damage to Ford's political stock. But losing two races in two years might stigmatize him as, well, a loser.

Anyway, if Ford's got presidential ambitions, it's hard to imagine why he'd want to run for Senate anyway. This country hasn't elected a senator to be president since JFK.

Governors are a different story, though. Americans have elevated plenty of governors to the White House through the years. (In fact, trivia points to anyone who can name the last president who didn't serve as a governor beforehand.)

And if Ford were to run for the Tennessee governor's seat in four years, he might even be able to wrangle Bredesen's endorsement. (Which would be valuable as long as Bredesen remains popular during his final term.)

Of course, Ford will need to be doing something between now and then to keep himself busy and his name in the limelight. Selling Amway probably isn't going to cut it.

Speaking of Fords, Edmund's legal troubles got me to thinking about who might fill the City Council's District 6 seat if he has to step down.

I'm guessing either Jake or Sir Isaac (or both?) might jump in to make sure the seat stays in the family.

Posted by Blake Fontenay

From: Rock 'n' Roll Minor Planets

So, maybe I'm semi-retired. Let's dispense with the usual "why I've been missing lately" crap and get to the good stuff.

Lately I've noticed something strange happening to my self-preservation instinict. Although I've never wanted to die in an unpleasant way, of course, I've never really feared death itself. It's funny to me that most religious people (who presumably believe in an afterlife) are so afraid to die. I just think of it as ceasing to be, not the Great Beyond or some unknown state of being. To my way of thinking, it is the opposite of being. I also think reincarnation is probably a part of it, but I don't think any single consciousness is preserved intact.

Anyway, my point in all this is pretty simple: For the first time in my memory, I'm sad at the thought of dying. Not really afraid of it, but sorrowful in thinking I might die before getting to do all the stuff I want, seeing places in the world I haven't yet, or generally missing out on the living stuff. I can't tell where this comes from. I also feel happier than I have--maybe ever. I'm generally a very content person, not patient with people around me who may be unhappy or dissatisfied with a world of their own making. (I usually think this is a result of choices or personality, both of which are under individual control, so it's hard to feel sorry for unhappy people. Feel free to disagree, but you likely won't persuade me.)

Interesting to ponder the sorrowful side of happiness. Unhappiness doesn't really have a flip side, though.

Posted by Serrabee

From: Click (Daily)

!Roller Derby!

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From: The Memphis Scene

More Roller Derby Action!

I had been planning to root for the PrissKilla Prezleys over the Legion of Zoom in Saturday night's preseason roller derby bout -- if only because I think I know more of the former girls -- but the Legion is blowing up my comments, making me think I might need to switch my loyalties. It's as if the Legion has some kind of comment-generating bot out there ...

After writing about the Legion of Zoom, I couldn't help but look up this ...

Posted by Mark Richens

From: Letters to Larry

Jobs

Larry,

How's it going, old timer? I'm doing well. Just wanted to say hello. Let you know about some exciting things happening in my little world. Or, should I say, "Little World"? That joke never gets old.

Anna goes for her first ultra sound tomorrow. I think that I'm going to tag along to see what the baby looks like. I'm guessing that I won't be able to tell very much of anything but it will satisfy my curiosity.

I got a Wii last week. It's Wii-ly fun. Although, I think that I pulled a muscle playing so much; (the bicep, if you were wondering).

I think that Vietnam would have been a much more popular war had the turning point of said war been known as the Tit Offensive. It takes on a totally different meaning but, trust me, you would have loved it.

I thought of a sketch for SNL or even for Studio 60. I call it Pagan Girls Gone Wild. It practically writes itself. Nothing hotter than a Goth Girl flashing (boobs) and slashing (throats of livestock).

Oh, yeah. I'm thinking that I want to look for a new job. Not earnestly but in a very casual manner. I've made my resume public so maybe someone will happen along and find it and call me and offer me something that I will love. You can check it out here. If you know anyone that's looking, send them my way. Not opposed to relocating. Places that I would consider: TiVo, Anheiser-Busch, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, UPN, HBO, AOL/Time Warner, Victoria's Secret, Oprah Actually, I'm pretty open at this point.

So, not much of a point. Just wanted to say hello.

Oh, I'm reading a book right now that I can't get anyone to agree to read after I'm finished. However, I think that it's great and everyone should have to read it at some point in their lives. It's called The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. A must-read. And I mean it-you MUST! It's about Atheism.

Speaking of which, Anna and I had to drop by the grocery store on Sunday and pick up a couple of items. Actually, I went to the grocery store while Anna took a detour over to Hallmark. As I was entering Kroger, there were a group of ladies stationed in the lobby taking donations for something that felt church-related. I cut her off pretty quickly as she accosted me. "I'm an atheist", I said flatly as I sauntered by her. I've never seen someone look so horrified in my whole life. And I've done some horrible things. And I wasnt even serious. The Christians really have to lighten up a bit, I think.

Finally, I quit smoking. What a relief. I never thought that I'd get that monkey off my back. Thanks, Chantix!

Talk soon,

Paul

Posted by Paul

From: Jen-sized

Well lookie here!

While I was driving to work this morning, my gas light came on. I still had about 10 miles left to go, so I was cutting it pretty close. Fortunately when I left work my car actually started. So I hightailed it to the nearest gas station, where all the pumps were occupied. However, I saw no one actually pumping gas. There weren't any people sitting in their cars either. So while the fumes feebly powering my car were dissipating all these chumps were using the pumps as a PARKING LOT!

GOD THAT IS SO RUDE!

So then I turned on to Poplar in search of another station, and there were so many crackheads in there, and people turning their paychecks into lottery tickets, I almost gave up. But I'm home now, and the SNL rerun currently showing on E! is the one from last winter when Jack Black hosted. You'd think that with Jack Black hosting, even in this era of SNL, it'd be nonstop hilarious, but so far "Lazy Sunday" is the only funny thing I've seen. And of course I've already seen that.

-jen

From: artbutcher

It's Easier to Get a Show at the Brooks than the P and H

there is a review that came out
in the flyer
of steven and chris' work
at the brooks
and the last couple of lines are the greatest

"It's really flattering," Williams says of his invitation to show at the Brooks. The fact that he had two shows running simultaneously in Memphis, he maintains, is "pure coincidence."
"I'd booked the P&H last winter, and their waiting list is so long that it took until now for my name to come up," he says.

not even carol knowles
could come up with lines like that
thats right
people want the p and h art shows
people need the p and h art shows
not even the brooks
can plan as far in advance as me
but
now the self flattery is over
and
with the p and h in mind
dont forget about gabe martin tomorrow at 8:00pm
after chris wollards bfa and aaa show
after richard gambles introduction
to the memphis art world
and the p and h artbazaar
dont miss that on sunday
like you missed
virginias talk
about her piece
and egg nog martinis
and her
cube outside a square with a light on
or
something like that
i shouldnt make fun
as i need to stay in her house
when i go to nyc
to see pinkneys show

Posted by dwayne

From: Bar-B-Log

5 Takes Memphis

All in all, the Travel Channel show 5 Takes: USA is pretty lame. Nothing seems very spontaneous, and the corporate sponsorships are over the top. The travelers, or TJs as they're called, are a bunch of doofuses. In fact, I think one of them is a bit touched in the head.

With that said, their recent visit to Memphis left our fair city looking like quite the place to be. As soon as the episode was over, I turned to E and said, "I wanna go there." Of course they made the requisite visits to Beale Street and Graceland, but they did some unexpectedly hip stuff too like visit Goner Records and take an American Dream Safari with our friend Tad.

What really crossed the t's with me was their avoidance of any barbecue joints. Instead, they went to a backyard BBQ in South Bluffs. The event came across as really staged, but I appreciated the unique effort.

We Memphians tend to be an apathetic and downright negative bunch when it comes to this town, but it was fun to see things through the eyes of a bunch of fer'ners. Apparently, there are some cool things happening in these parts. At least, that's what the Travel Channel would have us believe.

From: My Memphis Lawyer's Life and Work

Memphis BBQ

I think its time for me to weigh in on Memphis Barbecue. I’ve judged a couple contests and enjoy it throughly.

Interstate- Ribs 4.5 star – Barbecue 3.5- A bit overly chopped bbq. Very Smoky. Excellent ribs not too sugary. Sides a bit lacking. VERY good value.

Blue City Café- Ribs 5 star – BBQ none- Excellent ribs. Very expensive.

Corky’s – Ribs 4 BBQ 3 – A Memphis tradition. On a good day comparable with the best a lot of variation in the recent years.

Central- BBQ 2.5 – Dry and kinda tough. I think this place is overrated

BBQ Shop BBQ 4.5 Ribs 2- Tough Ribs excellent smoky BBQ- Most BBQ places do either shoulder or ribs well but not both.

Paynes- BBQ 5 Ribs 2 – Again excellent BBQ funky location. Don’t go at night worked a little on a gang related shooting near here.

Germantown Commisary BBQ 4 Ribs 2- Again a shoulder place. Excellent pie.

Tops- A chain but decent and very good value.


Movie Review- Stranger than Fiction- Excellent movie. Very moving. Has enough of that literary funky feeling to get into it but still be engaging. The performance of Dustin Hoffman as a supporting actor as a consulting literary professor was very good.

Posted by attorneydavid

From: theology & geology

Score

I opened the dryer and guess what tumbled out along with a sock and a pair of ratty underwear? Seven dollars, that's what.

Suddenly that $10.74 in my checking account doesn't make the day seem so bleak.

posted by theogeo

From: Fertile Ground

Snippets

I don't anticipate having a lot of time to really flesh out the weekend in my usual "hall monitor" way, so I offer you a brief recap.

Friday
After a Mediterranean feast, my brother agreed to hang out and do laundry while the monkeys slept, so Warren and I could go to Neil's and see my favorite band. I actually went a little early so that I could interview Kate, the lead singer, about being a rock star and a mom. It was my first ever face to face interview (I usually do them by email), and I wasn't quite sure what to do. Luckily, Angelina Rolie loaned me her tape recorder. And a tape. (I still scribbled notes wildly.)

Kate is a great interview, and a really cool person. I even snuck in a few questions to her husband and bandmate, Corey.

As we talked, people filtered in and when we were done talking, I looked up to see several people I knew scattered about the bar. "Why didn't you say hi?" I demanded.

"Because of the tape recorder!" They said. "You look so official."

The show was awesome, but I have to admit, by 12:30am I had to switch to Diet Coke for a much needed caffeine jolt. It's a good thing being a rock star is nowhere on my list of things to do. I just hope to someday have a block of time in which to transcribe my hour long interview with the Crowders!

Saturday
I woke up at 7:00am (ouch) and went to work until noon, took the boys (plus JP) to the playground for a bit, then hopped in Kel Diabla's car to start the journey to Collierville for the inaugural roller derby bout! We all had to be there at 4:00pm. Showtime was at 7:30pm.

Things actually seemed to be running extremely smoothly and it was fun to just hang out and breathe in the excitement. We had a packed house (sold out at 933 and turned away almost 100) and a action-packed game that was up for grabs until the last few minutes when the Angels of Death pulled out the lead to win 164 to 132 (or something like that).

I got to hang out in the center with the refs and help notify the refs, the coaches, and the players when they were in danger of getting 4 fouls and visiting the penalty box for a minute. Like I said, it was an action-packed game, so I was BUSY.

Warren and the monkeys enjoyed the game from the kids' area mostly, until they discovered the ice cream machine by the concession area. Luckily, Warren's motorcycle buddies (The former half of the Foster-Oster Gang) were in attendance and provided him with some adult conversation. He did a great job of keeping the monkeys under control and as usual, I didn't properly convey how much I truly appreciate him and his all out derby support.

Sunday
After the incredible success of the derby debut, I couldn't sleep. I stayed up all night making ravioli so the monkeys and I could prepare a fabulous meal for Warren, as a proper thank you.

Some friends joined ua and we spent all day hanging about, cooking, laughing, and talking. It was most awesome. Even better than going out to a restaurant or imaginary beer garden. I might have to share some more of my recipes...

posted by Stacey Greenberg

From: artbutcher

Happy Thanksgiving!

i had a good day today
i got a haircut
got the oil changed
washed the car
finshed a painting
went to the brooks
to see the sculpture show
again
also saw
steventroywilliams
and chris wollards show
washed four loads of laundry
made 1200 lines
on a piece of paper
cooked dinner
watched tony bennetts
birthday show
rented
wrath of khan
and watched an episode of
smith
on cbs.com
now tomorrow
i get to drive to dallas
with my wife
my brother
my nephew
and my girlfriend in law
play a heated game of risk
drink a bottle or seven of wine
smoke three cigars
go to the fort worth art museum
book a flight to nyc
a little treat before grad school
so i can see
the henry darger show
the john currin show
the david bates show
the brice marden show
the chie fueki show
the ellsworth kelly show
only if i lived in nyc
i could wish to live in memphis
so i could see
the don estes show
the class of 06 show
(BOOTLEG WINNERS)
the elizabeth alley show
the susan maakestad show
the jan hankins show
the mel spillman show
and the wangechi mutu show
ahhh
to be an artist

Posted by dwayne

From: The Soundcheck & The Fury

On harp (the musical instrument, not the beer)

So I'm sitting here on Saturday morning, listening to new weird folkie Joanna Newsom pluck her harp and sing in her precious, but not in a good way, cartoon voice. The critics rave about her, you know. On metacritic.com, the reviews added up to a 92 -- the third-best record of the year, so far. That's a notch ahead of Dylan's "Modern Times," and five ahead of the new Los Lobos. The likes of the Decemberists and The Hold Steady can merely stand back and gaze at the heap of praise at Joanna's bare (I'm betting bare, new weird folkie that she is) feet and say -- well, I don't want to put words in anybody's mouth. I'll just say that I prefer my harp in a bottle.

The album is called "Ys." I don't know how to pronounce it. I don't know if anyone can. Does it rhyme with "hiss"? Anyway, here's what some of the critics say:

Drowned in sound: "It’s a vivid and beautiful painting that you can walk into; a magic window into another world that I'd be happy to get lost in, and never come back."

Uncut: "For the 56 minutes that "Ys" lasts, all the doubts evaporate. Every elaboration has a purpose, every labyrinthine melodic detour feels necessary rather than contrived. Tempting as it is to fixate on the gilded reputations of her associates, this is unequivocally Newsom’s album."

Pitchfork: "The people who hear this record will split into two crowds: The ones who think it's silly and precious, and the ones who, once they hear it, won't be able to live without it."

But I can't get inside the damn thing, try as I might. I'm six minutes into the third of five songs, "Sawdust & Diamonds," and so far the only melody that's stuck is from the first song, the 12-minute "Emily." Thing is, isn't that the melody from Springsteen's "Spirit in the Night"?

posted by David Williams

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From: hugh's blog

Act like a star

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw

I sat in on the saddest exchange I have ever heard the other day. I hang out, or lurk, in a lot of forums so I can stay on top of what is going on out there on the Interweb. On one of them the question was asked

“If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would you do?”

The range of answers ranged from Astronaut to Teacher, to Scientist, to Professional Dancer. People told tear-jerking stories of their love for music, the way they enjoyed baseball as a child, how happy they were when surrounded by little children. They were spilling their guts, sharing their dreams.

Well, I could not resist asking the obvious question:

“How many of you are doing these things for a living”?

In over 80 responses, not one was doing what they would love to do for a living. Now, don’t get me wrong, everybody had a reason. Age, health, family circumstance, education, children, no credit, to much debt, no money, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

I don’t understand: If you are not doing what you want to be doing, why aren’t you? When will you? What is going to change that will allow you to think you can do it?

In college, I remember sharing a history class with a lady who was in her late 70’s. She was working on a degree in American History. When the instructor commented on her age, she said her family was scandalized that Grandma was going back to college. She said they told her she would have to take classes for at least 5 years to get her degree, and by then she would be 80 years old.

She told them that in 5 years she would be 80 anyway, the only question was if she would be 80 and have a degree, or be 80 and not.

The next five years are going to pass. Will you just be five years older, or will you be five years older and doing something you love?

This is NOT a rehearsal for your life. This is the Main Event, the big show.

Ask yourself this: Am I acting like the star of my own show, or am I content to be an extra in someone else’s movie?

From: Urf!

Happy Birthday, Click

Tonight was the birthday party for Shannon, who is pushing 40 now. A real, grown-up party with beer and a band and friends and some more beer. Kristy tried to arrange for a sitter – her parents – but, inexplicably, they were going to a concert at The Coliseum. So, not only were our kids still at home, but their cousin was along for the ride. I really wanted to go to the party and Kristy wanted to go to the party, and what did Kristy say? “Go. Have fun.” How about that? Just one reason I love this woman so much. So as a possible topic for the concession speech for the Husband of the Year award, I left her alone with five children. I feel terrible about that. But that party was a lot of fun.

Here is who was at the party: friends and family, pierced people, bald people, Asians, Ultimate Frisbee players, artists, roller derby queens, a newspaper maganate, moms, dads, grandparents, film makers and musicians. Click was there, of course, as was Elizabeth, Toby, Hamlett, Julie, Stacey, Warren, Heather (who has a brand new baby and a brand new URL that I have not been made privy to), Rodney, Christa and Mr. and Mrs. Dwayne (with all these bloggers, it was as though Memphis Blogger had made out the guest list). I had a long talk with Hamlett, wherein we decided that the internet was indeed an amazing thing that seemed to encompass the world. Then he and I talked movies with Dwayne. People danced like The Peanuts outside in 30-degree weather and tonight, for the first time ever, I was recognized as the author of Urf! And it was by one of my favorite commenters, a lovely woman, the mother of Brian, who I even told the real names of The Quartet. I was told by others that they feel like they know my children, though I assured them this is all made up, that I’m really a single 21-year-old living in my mother’s basement in a split-level ranch house just outside Minnetonka, MN. And then I was given some advice on what to write about. We discussed back surgery and I showed my scar, right there in the Dixon kitchen, to Warren.

All in all, it was a great night. I only wish Kristy could have been there. In a strange twist, most of The Quartet was going to spend the night with their grandparents later in the evening, leaving just a manageable GK at home. When everyone asked why I was leaving the party, I explained this to them and they all understood. Maybe I’ll have a party like this for my next birthday. Maybe I can get 1/16 of the people to show up. And maybe, just maybe, one of these fine people will write about how much fun it was on their blog.

From: Sketchwork

San Francisco 8

10/27/06

Sheesh! Did that seem like the longest trip or what?! This is from breakfast on the day we left.

by Elizabeth Alley

From: Wineography

Question One: Booze Edition

While Tennesseans have spent the past several months pondering our own ballot questions, the fine folks of Massachusetts (I'm ashamed that I just had to look up how to spell that) have just finished wrangling over whether or not they want to be able to buy wine in supermarkets.

And the people have spoken and sent a resounding HELL NO to the powers that be.

Alls I can say is Whaaa?

As a resident of a state with wacky liquor-related laws, I am continually fascinated with the idea of purchasing spirits in other locations than seedy liquor stores where they shove everything in a brown bag inside another brown bag, so the God-fearing people on the streets don't have to be confronted with the knowledge that you, at some point in the future, are going to get a little tipsy and commit a social faux pas that will haunt you 'til your lonely, pathetic death.

So when I see a relatively progressive state like Massachusetts pooh-pooh the idea of strolling from the toilet paper to the orange juice to the dry reds, I marvel at the weirdness. Who wouldn't want to be able to buy booze in the damned grocery store?

Other than package-store owners, that is.

Apparently the liquor lobby pulled a Hail Mary to come from behind and defeat the ballot initiative.

Polls taken two weeks before the election showed Question 1 favored by a two-to-one margin among those surveyed. The opponents blitzed TV and radio airwaves with ads portraying the proposal as a public safety issue. They claimed teenagers would be more likely to obtain alcohol because convenience stores also could apply for wine licenses if the question were approved.

Right. Because teens are all about waltzing into a Piggly Wiggly to buy a $16 bottle of wine when they could just go to MapCo and buy $8 worth of beers and get equally as drunk.

Anyway, too bad for Massachusettianistans. I feel their pain. The lack of availability of wine in grocery stores confounds me. Not only does it suck outright having to hoof it to a liquor store — which, thanks to the laws 'round these parts, close at 11 p.m. on every night but Sunday, when they're not open at all — but it also undoubtedly keeps prices from being very competitive across the board. Just imagine the creative discounts the supermarkets and liquor stores could launch to best one another. Just imagine the savings! Just imagine the slurred speech and stumbling and fuzzy holiday memories!

Maybe one day, when Tennessee is done putting Teh Gays in their place, we'll tackle an initiative like this.

posted by theogeo

From: Secret Agent Mom

The Guy Said Honey, You're A Funny Girl

I had been hoping to launch an unofficial NaBloPoMo over here, but I've been too busy working on my bit for the The Funniest Mom in America competition. Yes, the agent is stepping out of the green room and onto the stage, thanks to the supportive goading of Stacey and the somewhat unsupportive smirks from certain friends who think I can only be funny in two dimensions (suck it, Cory!). It seemed like an amazingly well-timed chance to follow up on my life-long dream of pursuing stand-up comedy, so in a swift move that surprised everyone who's ever met me, I read about the Memphis auditions and immediately emailed the local comedy club for a spot. And I got one. And now ... I have to show up. With the funny. I secretly slipped some of my bit onto the playgroup moms this morning, and it went very well, but I know that the Wednesday night crowd at Comedy, TN isn't likely to be a bunch of sleep-deprived mamas. But hopefully, it'll be some of you. Did I mention that it's November 15? At 8:15pm? Bring all your hard-drinking, child-humor-loving friends!

Briefed by S.A.M.

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

Welcome COGIC

This is the week when the saints of COGIC gather in downtown Memphis for their annual convention. Welcome, and if you have any questions about the area that you'd like to ask a local, feel free to e-mail me.

One of the best ways to celebrate the abundance that God has given you is to share that abundance with others. To that end, I'd like to ask you to please tip your servers well when you go out to eat at downtown restaurants this week. With so many people in town, the servers are going to be extremely busy, and they deserve to be compensated well for their hard work, don't you agree?

A standard tip at a restaurant is 15%. For your convenience, I have computed 15% of common amounts below.

• 15% of $10.00 = $1.50
• 15% of $20.00 = $3.00
• 15% of $30.00 = $4.50
• 15% of $40.00 = $6.00
• 15% of $50.00 = $7.50
• 15% of $60.00 = $9.00
• 15% of $70.00 = $10.50
• 15% of $80.00 = $12.00
• 15% of $90.00 = $13.50
• 15% of $100.00 = $15.00
  

If you make special requests of your server - food prepared a special way, substitutions, etc. - you may want to consider tipping your server a little extra, say, 20%. Again, for your convenience, 20% of common amounts is below.

• 20% of $10.00 = $2.00
• 20% of $20.00 = $4.00
• 20% of $30.00 = $6.00
• 20% of $40.00 = $8.00
• 20% of $50.00 = $10.00
• 20% of $60.00 = $12.00
• 20% of $70.00 = $14.00
• 20% of $80.00 = $16.00
• 20% of $90.00 = $18.00
• 20% of $100.00 = $20.00
  

Also, please keep in mind that if a restaurant does not give a COGIC discount, it's a policy set by management. Your server has no influence over that policy and does not deserve to be penalized on his or her tip. If you only want to eat at restaurants that give COGIC discounts, it would be a good idea to ask about this before you are seated.

I personally can attest that when you freely share your bounty, as God Himself would, with all those around you, it comes back to you tenfold and more. So please keep that in mind when you sit down to eat in downtown Memphis this week.

Again, welcome. Thank you for spending you tourism dollars in Memphis, and if you have questions about Memphis just ask.

11:18 AM

From: Downtown Books

We are growing up.

Our blog is, anyway.

We have decided to get a self-hosted blog, so we can have a bit more control over it. Also, this way we can integrate it into our website (whenever that happens....)

Anyway, please update your feeds and such, because we can now be found at

http://memphisbookshop.com/wordpress/

The new blog will (eventually) have many new features, such as categories, a better comments system, and lots of other things I am not cool enough to yet understand.

I look forward to seeing you over there.

posted by Hugh Hollowell

From: Whining & Dining

Farmer's market lives!

The official Memphis Farmers Market is shuttered for the season, but a few purveyors are gathering on Saturdays outside Cafe Francisco on North Main.

Bought some beautiful salad greens, baby spinach and pea vines from my favorite Mississippi gentleman farmer/NWA airline pilot... chefs, take note: this is amazing stuff!

And the meat man was there... last Saturday, I ran into the Squirrels (their blog comment handle), who inspired me with their mission of roasting soup bones they bought from the meat man. Sadly, he didn't have any this trip, but we chewed the fat.

I asked about how he raised his cattle, and he said they grazed on grass to 700 pounds, then finished off with corn. I said something about cows were not really meant to eat corn, and he said: "You read 'Omnivore's Dilemma' didn't you?" Guilty!

What he said made some sense, and I appreciate his good practices, especially dry-aging the beef... something very few processors do.

That reminded me of a conversation I had earlier in the week with food editor Jennifer Biggs about the distinction between food that's grown or raised under strict organic rules, and crops/animals done old-school... something people refer to as authentic. It's a complex world out there, with corporations in the organic biz... I still cannot bring myself to buy packaged spinach... well, except from the man from Holly Springs. Go see him next Saturday!

What about you? Are you steering away from certain foods because of the way they're raised/grown? Or, is it a matter of price?

Posted by Leslie Kelly

From: Fertile Ground

Love at First Sight

Several months ago, I fell in love.

With Pocky.



And now it is all mine.

See it for yourself (as well as 14 other amazing paintings by Elizabeth Alley) at Perry Nicole Fine Art (a.k.a. the original home of Mothersville)during the month of November.

posted by Stacey Greenberg

From: a pulp faction

A self-indulgent post riddled with parentheses.

Time for a break from magazine production, or I will surely suffer a bad case of burn out and it will never get done.

I've surprised myself with this all, lately. See, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm aware of the fact that I am capable of amazing feats of discipline and self-control and do in fact posses a selectively stellar work ethic. I frequently forget this, however, thanks to my tendencies towards drinking and sleeping a lot and watching too much TV and otherwise taking a rather lackadaisical approach to life. This project is bringing all the good stuff out, with the help of a little more coffee than I usually consume. (Ok, actually my drink of choice is a Cafe Con Pana, a double espresso topped with whip cream. Dreamy.)

The point is that I feel really accomplished, it feels good to be working on something I believe in, something that challenges me without it being some impossible thing which will surely break me.

I'm about to be sappy, if you're not in the mood for it don't read it. I'm about to tell you how I wake up every day and find myself thinking it's an effing beautiful day. (WTF is up with that. This isn't exactly Mr. Roger's neighborhood.) Even that one day after Halloween when it was all foggy and misty. I find myself appreciating the trees and how many of them there actually are around here compared to a lot of places and how pretty their leaves are this time of year. I find myself working harder for my boss (Yes, I still suffer from the affliction of a day job,) and taking deep breaths when I go outside and cussing a lot less when I drive. (It's still a lot though, you should call me sometime when I'm driving home from work. It's hilarious.)

Though I haven't done laundry in over a month (it's ok, I own lots of clothes for this exact reason,) and I really don't shower as often as I probably should and some might say I'm cultivating a hair style rather reminiscent of Einstein in his later years, things are actually going quite well and frankly, this has been an entirely self-indulgent post serving only to convince me of that fact.

posted by pulpfaction

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

First impression: EP's Delta Kitchen and Bar on Beale Street: AWESOME

Tonight, after a couple of beers at the Tap Room, I stumbled into EP's Delta Kitchen and Bar, located in the old Elvis Presley's Memphis building at Second and Beale. Now, I had to get by there at some point this week and then write about it in my blog, because my friend and former neighbor Mike (who used to be the chef at McEwen's) is at EP's now and designed the menu. "All right," I thought. "If this place sucks as much as Elvis Presley's Memphis did, I'll bury it in a ____day Update post and give it two sentences in the middle of nine other bullet points."

EP's gets its own post.

EP's gets its own post and my recommendation to GO THERE AND EAT. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Let's start out with the decor: It's superb. Think Swig, Dish, Bluefin, but with the soul of Beale Street. The furniture, the lighting, the music, make it feel hip, yet you never forget where you are.

I asked the staff for a few recommendations. One that was pointed out repeatedly was the pork loin stuffed with house-made sausage. Comes with sweet cornbread pudding and creole mustard demiglace.

Another popular recommendation was the stuffed portabella mushrooms with shrimp, spinach, and caramelized onions. Another was the fried green tomatoes with tomatilla sauce and pear compote - "we're taking fried green tomatoes to a whole new level." Also highly recommended was the smoked duck seafood gumbo. But really, just ask to look at the menu. You can't go wrong. They told me they want to be on a level with Stella, McEwen's, Felicia Suzanne's, etc. within a year, and based on the menu they're already there on their second day.

By the time I got there, they had rolled off the regular menu and onto their late night menu. From that, I had the Lobster Pronto Pup - a corn dog, but with lobster rather than a hot dog inside, over a bed of greens - SO good. Also recommended on the late night menu is the nachos with sweet potato chips, pepper jack and crawfish.

To drink, I had a peanut butter and banana cocktail, with Godiva liqueur, 99 Bananas, vodka and amaretto. It comes garnished with a banana chip. Yummy.

As Mike the chef explained it to me, EP's knows they'll draw tourists solely based on location but "we want to cater to locals. We want a place where they can relax and feel at home. We don't expect to see the same people every night of the week, but we want it to be the place they go when their mother comes to town to visit. (Attn Mama: when you come to town, we need to eat here) We want it to be the place you bring Uncle Todd for his 56th birthday."

For those Downtowners who go to a bar for the people as much as for the food and drinks, Ugly Steve (formerly of the Tap Room/King's Palace) is bartending downstairs, and Hooper (formerly of Dan McGuinness Pub, and before that, Downtown Huey's) is upstairs.

I asked how late they planned on staying open tonight - some places that are more restaurant than bar close early. "Oh, we'll be here until about 2:45," I was told.

This place SO makes me wish I had a girl I was seriously interested in so I could take her to dinner there. If this place doesn't impress, I don't know what will.

Attn Rapscallions: Dinner at EP's after trivia Tuesday night?

2:15 AM

From: Letters to Larry

Positive

Larry,

Guess what? I'm positively positive that the test Anna just took was positive. I know that it's customary to wait some time before telling people but I wanted you to know. You are the 7th person to know officially. I hope that we aren't tempting fate by spilling the beans early. Here's my chance to prove my theory about Karma. Basically, I think that I've done so much bad in my life, nothing good will ever happen to me ever again. We'll see. I'll keep you posted. And I didn't forget about you either. I'll be sending you some stuff about Costa Rica soon. Oh, and we've got the wedding pictures as well. You can take a gander at those here. I hope that you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed being in them. Sarcasm, meet Larry. Larry, sarcasm.

Paul

Posted by Paul

From: The Daily Diversion

ODDITIES AND ABNORMALITIES...

Okay, so it's been a little while since I last posted. I know that. However, I'm going to try to keep this short and too the point (which never happens).

We had something very strange happen today. It was actually snowing when I went to lunch today. Yes, at 12:35 pm, in Memphis, on November 1st, 2006, we had snow flurries. It wasn't really coming down hard or anything. I know! Some people would say, "John, you're an idiot! That was just rain. It was drizzling!"

Well folks, I know the difference between rain and snow, and this, my friends, was snow. It didn't last long and it never showed up on the ground, but it was hitting me in the face on my walk home. My co-worker will back me up on this.

Another thing of note...

I started writing again today. It's not anything that I plan on posting, because I'm hoping I can put it all together and have something really special. It all relates to a dream I had this morning. I woke out of it, but couldn't find my pen and paper. So, I made a voice record on my phone, but didn't need it. I remembered everything about the dream when I actually got up, and had some more stuff to add to it by the time I got to work. I need to do some research on quite a bit of stuff to really bring it all together, but I'm hoping for something great. Wish me luck!

Okay, I'm out! Hopefully not for as long as last time!

Inflicted on you by John

From: a pulp faction

Don't forget the Rock N' Romp

Ok, so if you don't have little ones or you were able to book a sitter for Friday night, chances are you are not going to be in the mood for live music and daylight by mid aftrnoon on Saturday, but I wanted to post this anyway. Just in case you are. Memphis Rock 'N' Romp

posted by pulpfaction

From: The Flypaper Theory

How Many Ways To Lose an Election?

How Many Ways to Lose an Election? Harold Ford, Jr., is counting them as I write this.

Make no mistake; I'm not busting out the champagne glasses if Harold loses, and I never would. Yes, I've been just as critical of his voting record and his representation of Memphians, and his pull so far to the right, he is the African-American version of Trent Lott.

Yet, I'd steeled myself to actually start thinking of him as "Senator Ford". And it could still happen.

But when you are in an election that had become yours to win, despite all the truth-telling we do here at TFT, why do you then treat us to a YouTube clip that all but shows you shooting your campaign in the foot and picking off its' toes one-by-one?

Most blogs are pretty quiet on Ford's meltdown with Bob Corker at the Wilson Air Terminal last week. Some are saying he's still going to win, and at this point, anything's possible, given that it is Tennessee we're talking about. However, I wouldn't want Kos' record on political campaigns, either (Kos is like, um, 2 for 20 and counting...)in calling this election for Harold, just yet.

So, How many Ways can Harold lose this Election? Let us count them:

(1) Being caught at the Playboy Mansion, then taping a campaign ad showing you in church as a God-Fearing Christian. While I like to go to a good party like anyone else (and don't think a Christian can't get their "party" on; if they tell you that, they're a lyin' Christian), if I'm seen at the Playboy Mansion, as the Christian Progressive Liberal, I don't think my excuse of "witnessing to the lost" is going to play well.

(2) Having your former lover posting pictures of your vacation with her on the Internet. Ah, those "Family Values" again. I'm no prude, but if you're promoting yourself to those in East Tennessee as a "Family Values" man, going off on weekends with a woman you're not married to, doesn't cut it. If there's some "Family Values" that allow for fornication, could you forward them to me, please? While I know plenty of ministers who do the same thing, I call them out on that, too. And while what you do in your personal life shouldn't matter a damn to anyone except you and another consenting adult, it does if you're promoting yourself as a "Family Values" man. Look what it did for Mark Foley and Don Sherwood...

(3) Trying to distance yourself from your family while getting tied up with them 50 ways from Sunday. Either endorse your brother and really kill your chances at that Senate seat, or do the right thing and shore up your base by endorsing who rightfully won the Democratic nomination for the 9th District Congressional Seat.

(4) Gatecrashing your opponent's press conference and then going on television lying about how Bob Corker won't engage you in debates. I saw them on C-Span...and if you weren't making this Senate race about your family, showing up with the same thug-like tactics as the rest of your family doesn't do jack to show Tennessee and the Nation how you're not like the rest of your family. Jeez, Harold, gatecrashing Corker's press Conference? My God, what the Hell were you thinking when you did that?!!!

I'm going on the record again - I wanted you to win or lose this election based on the merits, your voting record and the issues. But you have made this election about your family and their peccadilloes, as well as your own.

And to think, I'd actually gotten used to the idea of calling you "Senator Ford" even if your response would be to cuss me out to my face. I can still get used to the idea, but your idiocy is taking that to a whole 'nother level that I can't begin to fathom...

posted by The Christian Progressive Liberal

From: Life In & Around Memphis

Changes in Lattitudes...

Well actually, it's more of a change in longitude. But I digress...

There are distinct differences between Germantown and Memphis that I'm beginning to notice. I think I'm going to try and supply pics of these differences over time, but for now, just take my word.

One example I'll give you now: a huge difference between Memphis and Germantown is what kind of cars come with "rims." I know what you're thinking: "Philip, cars don't come with rims. Rims are put on by the owners after they buy the car. They are aftermarket accessories." You are right. But when you see a car driving down the street with rims, as far as you know, the car came with those rims. But for the sake of this post we'll just discuss the various "cars with rims" around the area.

The quality of cars with rims vary from area of town to another. When I lived in Midtown and East Memphis, I saw tons of cars with rims (especially at Buffalo Wild Wings), but they were all crappy cars with expensive looking rims (like a '95 Chrysler towncar with rusted paint and a two color hood or an old '97 Chevy Blazer). It had spinners and tinted windows but was one rain storm away from losing the muffler. Now that I live in Germantown (temporarily), I notice that cars with rims are actually nice cars (like a Mercedes Benz SL500 with tinted windows and spinners or a Lincoln towncar with tinted windows).

One thing I have noticed is that regardless of what area of town, if you're going to put rims and/or spinners on a ride (is there a difference?), they have to be nice no matter how much of a piece o' shite your car is. So the lesson is that...

RIMS ARE NOT A STATUS SYMBOL PEOPLE! YOUR STATUS IS BASED ON WHAT STYLE AND QUALITY OF VEHICLE YOU ADD THE RIMS!!!

Over the next week or so, I'll try and get pics of the various types of cars with rims around town. That is, if I remember to bring my damn camera with me.

Have a good one and don't get none on ya

posted by Philip

From: Fertile Ground

Me Talk Scary Someday

On Monday, Mary, one of my derby teammates sent me an email informing me that she wouldn't be at practice because she had just been given two free tickets to see David Sedaris at the Cannon Center. I immediately responded, "Who gets the second ticket?"

She said she had already asked her boyfriend to go, but she could try and get another ticket.

"Get two," I typed.

A few minutes later she called to say that she had indeed gotten two more tickets. I immediately emailed our coach and told her I wouldn't be at practice either and got on the horn to see if I could possibly get Warren home from Missouri.

My coach told Mary and I that we could only have an excused absence from practice if we returned from the show with a piece of David Sedaris, even if it was just a toenail. Warren said there was no way he could make it back to be my date.

Mary and I made a verbal pinky swear to retrieve a toenail and I set about getting a backup date. I emailed my comrades in arms, RJA, Kristy, and Andria to see who wanted to escort me. RJA was the first to reply, then Kristy, then Andria.

I've never felt so popular.

In the end, neither RJA or Kristy could justify feeding their four kids benadryl for dinner and abandoning them with the other parent on a school night, so Andria got to be my date.

As we entered the Cannon Center and got lost in a sea of whitebread intellectual types like ourselves, I turned to Mary and said, "Give me my ticket in case we get separated."

"No," she said with a laugh.

"Okay..." I said, "Then I guess you better come pee with me."

Once we had all freshened up and set off to find our seats, it soon became clear why Mary was being so tight lipped about the tickets.

WE HAD FRONT ROW CENTER SEATS!

That's right folks. David Sedaris and his podium were about 20 feet from me.

The show was completely brilliant as expected. I both felt totally dwarfed by his writing and lifted by his success. I mean here was a dude just reading his essays to a room full of people who forked over $35-$100 per seat. Pretty damn amazing.

When the show was over and Sedaris left the stage, I turned to Mary and said, "Look he left his water glass on stage! Let's get it for the coach."

She looked on in horror as I quickly mounted the stage, grabbed his glass and water bottle, and then nailed my landing back on the orchestra floor.

"Oh my god!" my companions yelled between their hysterical laughter.

In the foyer I scoped out the book signing line to see if I could stand to wait in it for a chance to actually speak to Mr. Sedaris. It was about a hundrd miles long and my babysitter was going to turn into a pumpkin soon. "Oh well," I said.

Mary ran off to the facilities as Andria, Michael, and I chatted. As she made her way back, I noticed Justin Willingham (a local NPR announcer) escorting a very small man through the lobby. Without thinking twice, I walked over to join them.

"Hi Mr. Sedaris," I said. "I just jumped on stage and grabbed your drinking glass because my roller derby coach said the only way I could miss practice was if I brought her something with your bodily fluids on it. Or a toenail."

He looked at me stunned and said, "Oh you don't want my toenail."

"Can you sign the glass?" I asked hopefully.

"I can at the table," he said nervously.

I followed him and Justin Willingham past the hundreds of people lined up and watched as he delicately signed the glass and silently prayed for his life.

"Thank you very much," I said in my most un-psychotic voice.

I swear, sometimes I even amaze myself. Here's to you, Randi!

posted by Stacey Greenberg

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From: Bar-B-Log

The CA Sucks Up

I want to rant about Leslie Kelley's review of Corky's in yesterday's Playbook. I actually wrote a very long rant about it, but instead of posting those thousand-plus words, I reduced my vitriol to a few rhetorical questions. Why was this review written? Why was it written so poorly? Why was it then published? Does any reader of The Commercial Appeal want or need a review of Corky's?
Is anyone going there to get a hamburger? How in the good Lord's name could she give them three stars?

On the bright side, I found the reader comments heartening – especially the following: "You're not from here, are you, darlin'?"

Basted by The Saucier

From: Downtown Books

I want to be a REAL bookstore when I grow up

I sell books for a living. I like selling books, and I am damn good at it. I sell books better than 70 hours most weeks, and have spent years learning my trade. I do not tell you any of this to impress you, but rather to make the point that this is what I DO. This is not a hobby, or what I am doing until my Amway business takes off and I become a super duper diamond and own an island. So, you will understand if I took offense when I read this over at Paul Ryburns blog.

Let me preface this by saying that I don't think Paul is a bad person; I just think he is wrong.

He maintains (insists, really) that while it is great that we are here, what Downtown needs is a real bookstore. You know, one with ferns and carpet and that stays open till ten, so he does not have to go hang out at bars. Now, one might question why one must go hang out at bars, if what you really want to do is go to a bookstore, as there is a Bookstar 15 minutes up the road that stays open till 10 (and they do not even have a cover charge), but that is a whole 'nother post; heck, that would be a whole 'nother blog.

He gives 3 reasons [sic] why Downtown needs a Chain Bookstore. To quote Samuel Johnson (who, among other things, was a bookseller and a son of a bookseller) "I refute you, thus!"

1) We need a bookstore that stays open until at least 10 at night.
"...I would love to have a bookstore where I can go and read and hang out after work."

That is not what you do in a bookstore. That is what you do in a library, or the park, or hell, I guess the alleyway behind your house. You buy books in a bookstore. If you do this, the proprietor will no doubt want to chat with you, discuss things you like to read, or make other recommendations. Some people call this a good time. Buying books means you give them money, with which they pay the rent, lights, taxes, employees, buy books, and, if fortune shines on them (or the phone bill is late in arriving that month), they buy food for their children and try to pay their mortgage. Your "hanging out" does not pay for any of that.

Incidentally, again note that I studied this just a little bit before risking time, money, and my families security in downtown. If there were enough folks who would come in at 10pm, I would be here with bells on. The market (defined as people who will pay money for books) just ain't there. As it is, anything after 3pm is a gift.


2) There's a certain legitimacy that comes with a big chain's name value.

If you go to bed with a whore, you wake up with a whore. IF B&N or Borders came down here, less than half of the money you put in their register will stay in the local economy. Over 80% of our revenue stays local. They will come in, slash prices, force the books down your throat that the publisher pays them advertising dollars to, and when things look bleak, they will leave. You will get folks who work there who are just a shade too smart to work at McDonald's. Oh, they are legitimate. They are as legitimate as all hell.

3. Larger selection

This is largely a myth. Folks say they want a larger selection, but they do not. They want the appearance of a larger selection. We have well over 10,000 titles on the shelves, and add more everyday. Titles, not books. They may have 50,000 books, but only 6,000 titles. After all, there are 50 copies of the Da Vinci code in that pile, and 15 copies of the latest Nora Roberts books in a display over there. The industry knows this, by the way. The chains know that a HUGE percentage of their sales will come from less than 500 titles in any given year. They have a cute name for the rest of the stock: wallpaper.

If you want the latest Oprah book club book, go to B&N. However, we have a highly regarded selection of Religion, Philosophy, Science Fiction, American history and Cookbooks that I would go up against any chain on.

A few other things from his post that I take issue with:

And I'm not claiming that that experience is better than the one you would have at a mom-and-pop store, ...

I just LOVE being called a Mom and Pop. Love it. Why don't you just tell me how cute my little bookshop is, and ask me what I want to be when I grow up.

True, a small store could order any book a customer requests, but when I want a book, I want it now, not a week from now. If I were willing to wait a week, I'd just get on Amazon.com and order it myself.

Maybe that is the best choice for you. Then you can hang out in your own house, listen to your ipod and talk loud on your cellphone. Of course, when you do that, please do not piss and moan when the small bookshops go under and talk about how evil the chains are, and how "Downtown NEEDS a bookstore". It costs money to be here, folks.

Downtown Books closes at 5, according to their website. That means the only day I can hang out there is Saturday.

Not that we have seen you on any of the 6 Saturdays we have been open so far, but we have high hopes. Please leave the Yatzee board at home.

posted by Hugh Hollowell

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

Why we need a big chain bookstore downtown

This morning I got an e-mail from Memphis Tobacco Bowl/Downtown Books. They were responding to my recent suggestion that the soon-to-be-vacant Tower Records space in Peabody Place Mall would be a good spot for a Borders or other large chain bookstore:

"You could walk over to 152 Madison, in the heart of Downtown, where there's a bookstore and a coffee shop."

I wasn't meaning to knock Downtown Books in any way when I made that suggestion. The Tobacco Bowl is a great place, and I've had many days off work that I've walked over to Tobacco Bowl and sat at Tracy's coffee bar and had a great time. The Tobacco Bowl is a real asset to downtown - I don't smoke but I know they carry a large assortment of quality cigars, sold by someone who is knowledgeable enough to direct you toward something you'll like. They have really gone far to make their customers feel at home, adding the coffee bar, free wireless Internet and comfortable seating. And now they have added Downtown Books, yet one more reason to go into 152 Madison (between Second and Third, if you're not familiar with the area). If you like cigars, or coffee, or books, or friendly people, I highly recommend you stop by.

However, I still contend that downtown needs a big chain bookstore. Here's why:

1) We need a bookstore that stays open until at least 10 at night. And 11 or midnight would be even better. I get home from work about 5 in the afternoon. Downtown Books closes at 5, according to their website. That means the only day I can hang out there is Saturday. I would love to have a bookstore where I can go and read and hang out after work. Heck, it'd be a nice alternative to going out to bars every night. But at this point in Downtown's development, it would be a huge financial risk for a small business to extend its hours until 10 or 11. The big chains can afford that risk.

2) There's a certain legitimacy that comes with a big chain's name value. People are more likely to say, "Oh, if I lived Downtown I'd be able to walk to Borders; maybe it's time to move down there." They're already familiar with the shopping experience at Borders, having been to the one out east. And I'm not claiming that that experience is better than the one you would have at a mom-and-pop store, but it's perception. People tend to gravitate toward what's familiar, and a lot more people are familiar with the big chains.

3) Larger selection. Big chain stores have more space, which means they can keep more in stock. True, a small store could order any book a customer requests, but when I want a book, I want it now, not a week from now. If I were willing to wait a week, I'd just get on Amazon.com and order it myself.

For these reasons, I believe a big chain bookstore would increase foot traffic on Downtown streets, which in turn would benefit other Downtown businesses. I even think Downtown Books/Tobacco Bowl would benefit in the long run; once down here, some people would discover that there's another place a few blocks away that doesn't charge for wireless Internet and has better coffee, more comfortable seating, fine cigars, and good conversation. So, I really think having a Borders or Bookstar or B&N Downtown would be a win for everybody.

Now we just gotta convince one of the big chains that it would be a win for them...

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

"Tendentious": Why I can't stand Koeppel's restaurant reviews

Yesterday I was browsing the Commercial Appeal's website, and noticed that Fredric Koeppel had written about Stella in his weekly dining review. So I clicked the link to see what he had to say.

The first sentence started off: "At the risk of sounding tendentious..."

Okay. In high school I scored 1430 on the SAT. I went on to a liberal arts college where I had to spend a lot of my time reading books with big words. Since then I've spent a fair amount of time reading for personal pleasure. And yet I have no idea what "tendentious" means. I don't think I've even seen the word before. I wonder if even 1% of Koeppel's readers actually knew the meaning of that word.

tendentious also tendencious adj (1900): marked by a tendency in favor to a particular point of view: BIASED - tendentiously adv - tendentiousness n

Now, that definition may possibly be outdated, as I pulled it from the dictionary I got in 1987 while still in high school. But I think we'll be okay, because Koeppel is probably the first person to actually use that word in a sentence since 1987.

When I read the first line of his Stella review, this is the thought that came to my mind:

"Well, I don't know if he sounds tendentious, but he certainly sounds pretentious."

I didn't bother to read the rest of the review. Instead, I pulled up Stacey Greenberg's excellent Dining with Monkeys blog to read some restaurant reviews that are a lot more fun, accessible, and interesting.

Looking at the reader comments section of Koeppel's Stella review, it's clear that I'm not the only one who feels this way about his writing style. I remember reading last year that the Commercial Appeal is interested in doing more to appeal to the common Memphian. Sorry guys, but this is one area in which you ain't getting it done.

From: Memphis Blues Society

MBS Meeting at Kudzu's OCT 3

The Memphis Blues Society will have a meeting open to all at Kudzu's on Tuesday, OCT. 3 at 7 pm. If you don't know Kudzu's is located at - Kudzu’s Bar & Deli
603 Monroe Ave
(901) 525-4924

posted by Joe Terry

From: Whining & Dining

What did George W. Bush fans eat for lunch today?

The President was in Memphis for a fundraiser at a private home today, with the Peabody Hotel catering the meal... at $2,000 a plate.

Here's the menu:

Hors d'oeuvres
Curried Chicken Salad in a Mini Cheese Basket
Mini Smoked Salmon Lollipops
Crabmeat Cigars with Sweet Thai Chili Sauce
Black Mission Fig with Prosciutto and Gorgonzola
Vegetable Tartelette with Goat Cheese

Drinks
Sweetened and Unsweetened Fruit-Flavored Iced Tea with Lemon and Lime Wheels
Voss Mineral Water
Lemonade with Fresh Lemons to Garnish

First Course
Goat Cheese Walnut Mousse and Smoked Trout Rillettes with Assorted Olive Relish, Rosemary Crostini and Pickled Beets

Main Course
Sherry Poached Breast of Chicken with Spiced Estragon Consomme, Pearl Pasta and Vegetables, Oven-Roasted Tomato Tzatziki

Dessert
Flourless Chocolate Cake and Pineapple Almond Tart with Fresh Berries, Raspberry Coulis and Chocolate Straw

Yes, I had to look up estragon... a fancy moniker for tarragon!
Here's the team that put that meal together: Executive Chef Andreas Kisler created the menu.

Executive Sous Chef Andrew Black and Banquet Chef Brian Williams helped to prepare it.

Executive Pastry Chef Konrad Spitzbart did dessert.

UPDATE: A person who attended the lunch commented on the blog that president did not actually eat... too bad, sounds like he missed a delicious meal.

Posted by Leslie Kelly

From: Whining & Dining

What did George W. Bush fans eat for lunch today?

The President was in Memphis for a fundraiser at a private home today, with the Peabody Hotel catering the meal... at $2,000 a plate.

Here's the menu:

Hors d'oeuvres
Curried Chicken Salad in a Mini Cheese Basket
Mini Smoked Salmon Lollipops
Crabmeat Cigars with Sweet Thai Chili Sauce
Black Mission Fig with Prosciutto and Gorgonzola
Vegetable Tartelette with Goat Cheese

Drinks
Sweetened and Unsweetened Fruit-Flavored Iced Tea with Lemon and Lime Wheels
Voss Mineral Water
Lemonade with Fresh Lemons to Garnish

First Course
Goat Cheese Walnut Mousse and Smoked Trout Rillettes with Assorted Olive Relish, Rosemary Crostini and Pickled Beets

Main Course
Sherry Poached Breast of Chicken with Spiced Estragon Consomme, Pearl Pasta and Vegetables, Oven-Roasted Tomato Tzatziki

Dessert
Flourless Chocolate Cake and Pineapple Almond Tart with Fresh Berries, Raspberry Coulis and Chocolate Straw

Yes, I had to look up estragon... a fancy moniker for tarragon!
Here's the team that put that meal together: Executive Chef Andreas Kisler created the menu.

Executive Sous Chef Andrew Black and Banquet Chef Brian Williams helped to prepare it.

Executive Pastry Chef Konrad Spitzbart did dessert.

UPDATE: A person who attended the lunch commented on the blog that president did not actually eat... too bad, sounds like he missed a delicious meal.

Posted by Leslie Kelly

From: Secret Agent Mom

Dichotomy (part 1)

It was 5:17 pm when I got a call from W*, my poker buddy, former ad salesman and local music magnate. He was on his way to a meeting with JR, and asked if I wanted to come along. W's sneaky like that.

He'd emailed me a few days prior, extolling the virtues of young master JR and casually mentioning that the poor boy was having a bit of trouble getting shows together. I tried to ignore the bait, as I generally do when I hear that valid but common complaint, and I busied myself by going over the 419 things I needed to get done for my current clients. But then, as I was innocently checking my MySpace messages, I ran smack into an email from JR's friend/manager-type-guy, chock full of links to JR's debut album. Curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked. I listened. I promptly sent an expletive-laden email back to W., cursing him out for having the gall to drop a really, really talented songwriter on me. Now what was I supposed to do, say no thanks and watch him wander off to another agent who would recognize his talent and set up a 50-city tour but pay no attention to whether or not he owned a decent parka?

So when W called, I was torn. Not only was I unsure if I could commit to another artist, but I also had to get to my daughter's PTA meeting half an hour later. The wardrobe decision alone was nearly enough to keep me at home - how could I possibly find something to wear that would suit both scenarios? Was there anything in my closet that simultaneously said "culturally aware" (read: young) and "maternally responsible" (read: able to locate Band-Aids in less than 3 seconds)? But I threw caution - and my mom shorts - to the wind and agreed to meet W and JR for coffee.

From the minute I saw his bedheaded silhouette, I knew I was done for. Maybe if all songslingers didn't look like 8-year-old boys, I'd have an easier time telling them that no, they'll just have to take care of their careers themselves. The meeting itself was as fruitful as possible, considering the normal level of awkwardness between two people who've never met yet have had other people trying to hook them up for the last week. Considering JR and I are both married, that's not a situation we're accustomed to these days. W earned his nickname of The Great Facilitator (okay, I don't know if anyone calls him that, but they should) and somehow managed to plan out the next six months of our lives, all in the course of one bottle of green tea. Of course, maybe he didn't realize he was planning out that far, but that's how long it takes to set up a decent tour. Just as I was about to issue my slow sigh of contented resignation, I realized it was time to pack up my briefcase/diaper bag and head off to the PTA meeting.

Life lesson of the day: the PTA doesn't recognize "club time"; they actually start meetings when they say they will. It's hard to be a very secretive agent when you're creeping in the squeaky front door right in the middle of the cookie dough fundraiser briefing.

* Look, I'm still deciding how anonymous to be, or at least how much privacy to give other people. Give me a week and I'll probably be giving names, cell phone numbers and SAT scores.

Briefed by S.A.M.