Friday, November 10, 2006

From: Wineography

Question One: Booze Edition

While Tennesseans have spent the past several months pondering our own ballot questions, the fine folks of Massachusetts (I'm ashamed that I just had to look up how to spell that) have just finished wrangling over whether or not they want to be able to buy wine in supermarkets.

And the people have spoken and sent a resounding HELL NO to the powers that be.

Alls I can say is Whaaa?

As a resident of a state with wacky liquor-related laws, I am continually fascinated with the idea of purchasing spirits in other locations than seedy liquor stores where they shove everything in a brown bag inside another brown bag, so the God-fearing people on the streets don't have to be confronted with the knowledge that you, at some point in the future, are going to get a little tipsy and commit a social faux pas that will haunt you 'til your lonely, pathetic death.

So when I see a relatively progressive state like Massachusetts pooh-pooh the idea of strolling from the toilet paper to the orange juice to the dry reds, I marvel at the weirdness. Who wouldn't want to be able to buy booze in the damned grocery store?

Other than package-store owners, that is.

Apparently the liquor lobby pulled a Hail Mary to come from behind and defeat the ballot initiative.

Polls taken two weeks before the election showed Question 1 favored by a two-to-one margin among those surveyed. The opponents blitzed TV and radio airwaves with ads portraying the proposal as a public safety issue. They claimed teenagers would be more likely to obtain alcohol because convenience stores also could apply for wine licenses if the question were approved.

Right. Because teens are all about waltzing into a Piggly Wiggly to buy a $16 bottle of wine when they could just go to MapCo and buy $8 worth of beers and get equally as drunk.

Anyway, too bad for Massachusettianistans. I feel their pain. The lack of availability of wine in grocery stores confounds me. Not only does it suck outright having to hoof it to a liquor store — which, thanks to the laws 'round these parts, close at 11 p.m. on every night but Sunday, when they're not open at all — but it also undoubtedly keeps prices from being very competitive across the board. Just imagine the creative discounts the supermarkets and liquor stores could launch to best one another. Just imagine the savings! Just imagine the slurred speech and stumbling and fuzzy holiday memories!

Maybe one day, when Tennessee is done putting Teh Gays in their place, we'll tackle an initiative like this.

posted by theogeo

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