Thursday, January 18, 2007

From: Urf!

The Drive To Drink

Childhood tends to be remembered as a menagerie of cars and houses, and mine was no different. When I was a kid, we went through several different cars. We had a Ford Grenada, a Ford Pinto, an MG Spitfire, a Porsche 914, Buick Regal, a Renault, a Camaro and a Cadillac. We drove everywhere in these cars, from Memphis to the Gulf Coast and Chicago, to Pickwick and Sardis, countless trips to my grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ houses, to Montesi’s, Central Hardware, downtown to take my father to work and to the liquor store. My dad went to the liquor store a lot, though we kids had to stay in the car while he ran in. I never knew what went on behind the doors of the liquor store. In my mind there were naked women dancing around. Seriously. That’s what was taboo in my prepubescent head – nudity. It couldn’t simply be that there was booze in there, because there was booze everywhere. It was also the 70s and must have been safer to leave your two or three kids in the car with the windows down while you ran in for a bottle of scotch or rum or gin.

Tonight, on the way home from work, I had one of The Quartet with me and needed to stop by the liquor store for a bottle of wine. I debated with myself the whole way there as to whether or not he should come in with me. I didn’t see any reason why not, but something told me he shouldn’t, not because I think a liquor store is some sort of den of iniquity, but simply because I wasn’t allowed to at his age so neither should he. I silently talked to myself the whole way there about the situation, shaking my head and shrugging just the way my mother does, and finally decided, as I pulled into the parking lot, that he should stay in the car. I have no good reason for that. More reason, in fact, for him to come in with me, what with all the crazies out there eyeing my 1991 Volvo 740 wagon. The car could easily be taken with one of The Quartet in it. I really questioned my decision when I got out of the car and was immediately panhandled by one of our quaint, Midtown denizens. But I’d parked right in front of the store, had locked the doors and could see the car the whole time from the Pinot Noir display and the front counter.

So the trip ended safely and neither the car nor the kid were stolen. The kid barely escaped a visit to Gomorrah and I was left with a nice bottle of wine and the nagging disappointment, as an adult, that there are no naked girls dancing behind the door of a liquor store.

Friday, January 12, 2007

From: Rachel and the City

About 10 Minutes Before I Was Almost Arrested

ifonlyeverydaywereChristmas.jpg

So, a few people have been wondering where I have been lately. For those of you who care, after what I like to refer to as "The Christmas" incident, I have been on hiatus from going out.

After seeing the Pirates play Christmas night at The Hitone (they were awesome btw, and are now joined by Mr Steve Selvidge) I was on my way home around 2AM when I was invited to take a ride in my friends new Cadillac...at the time it sounded like a great idea, so I hopped in the car with some friends and off we went. I had no idea the block we were going around was down Poplar to Front Street to Union, and as we turned onto Union on two wheels with Beyonce blasting from the speakers, we past three police officers in the middle lane and you can fill in the blank what happened after that.

As I sat in the front passenger seat frantically dialing Drue Diehl's number to warn her that I may be on my way to jail, I said a little prayer that if I didn't go to jail that night, I would never drink again.

Now, the irony of course is that I'm agnostic! But as soon as I said that little prayer in my head the police came back to the car and told us to have a good night and they ended up sending us on our way (it was Christmas!!)

So, although I highly doubt I will never drink again, I am so inclined to lay off for a while and regroup - cause even though I wasn't driving and afterwards was told by several people that there was little chance of anything happening to me, I really don't want to ever be in that situation again.

So, yeah, I'll see ya around, but please don't buy me a drink...

Posted by Rachel

From: Secret Agent Mom

True Confessions

I don't know if guilt is hereditary, but Miss M seems to be channeling the previous generations of Mormon and Catholic repentance. The last thing she does before falling asleep at night, after the two books and one story and two songs, after the lights go off and her mother growls "Lie down, be still, close your eyes" for the 48th time, she confesses something. She goes through her mental summary of the day and finds something that she needs to apologize for. Last night, it was a fairly recent one: "Mama, I'm sorry for knocking over all the books" (which she'd done by kicking them off her nightstand about ten minutes earlier). The night before last, she went further back into the day and recalled an unfortunate potty-related incident that I never held her accountable for in the first place: "Mama, I'm sorry I fell in the toilet." Then she asks the most important question in her world: "Are you my best friend?" Mama stops growling after that.

From: a pulp faction

February/March Submissions

We're now accepting submissions for the February and March issues.

1) Comic/Cartoon Submissions. 1-2 panels, 1/2 page (4 1/4" x 5 1/2"), Black and White. Should cover a topic pertinent to Memphis creative culture and be at least a little bit funny. Or witty. Or snarky. You know, whatever.

2) Story Submissions. 400-600 words. Pertaining to Memphis creative culture. Brevity is your friend, so is wit and more or less proper engrish. (English works, too.)

Of particular interest:

-- Stories covering local bands or bands playing in Memphis in said month. -- Stories covering albums or films to be released during said month. (Again, Memphis related only.) -- Juicy gossip about people that make art or books or music or movies or clothes or whatever. (Keep it clean, folks.) -- Weird hobbies. -- Favorite Memphis intersections. -- Newsy type things. (I like press releases.)
Rules:
-- Don't write a story or interview about your band. -- Give me something by the 15th for potential publication in the February issue, the more complete the better.
So, get on it.

Thanks.

posted by pulpfaction

Friday, January 05, 2007

From: The Gates of Memphis

A Letter to Target

proposed site of Target, Poplar and Watkins, Memphis
Robert J. Ulrich
Chairman of the Board and
Chief Executive Officer
Target Corporation

Dear Mr. Ulrich,

Memphis has recently learned that we're to get a new Target store in the area of Memphis called Crosstown. There's been much discussion as to whether Target would choose a suburban design -- a box warehouse surrounded by asphalt parking lot -- for this location. I'm writing you to ask that Target build a store that will embody, in your aisles and in our streets, your corporate emphasis on great design and is mindful of the urban setting you have chosen for your store.
Madison Avenue trolley line, 2 blocks from proposed Target
Sacred Heart Church, 2 blocks from proposed Target
cottage directly across from proposed Target
Crosstown is a section of Memphis that was originally an early 20th century trolley suburb, full of bungalows, shotgun houses and 2-story family homes and small-scale commercial buildings (I've enclosed photos of some nearby examples). However the area had declined substantially from the 1960s, when a urban freeway sliced through its heart, demolishing many of these structures, and another planned (but never completed) freeway resulted in the demolition of many more. Businesses closed. Cheaply made apartment buildings replaced houses. Neighborhoods not destroyed began a long decline. Where you plan on building your new store is one of those neighborhoods.
home, 2 blocks from proposed Target
2 homes, 1 block from proposed Target
Memphis has only recently stopped this decline. A big part of the comeback has been the infill of homes in the area where the unbuilt freeway demolished homes. At the insistence of community leaders, the rebuilt homes were built to the aesthetic standards of the neighboring undemolished homes. The scars left by the unbuilt freeway have healed thanks largely to the design quality of these rebuilt homes. Other factors are the diverse community who have settled and stayed in that area, and a new downtown to Crosstown trolley system that Memphis added whose terminal is just 2 blocks from your proposed site.
Buddhist association, 1/2 block from proposed Target
bungalow directly behind proposed Target
I speak for no one but myself, but I nevertheless ask that as you design the new store, you consider how you can help further transform and revitalize Crosstown Memphis (as well as attract customers) through beautiful, affordable and place-conscious design. Just as Target transformed itself by growing through design, you can help do the same with this area of Memphis. I hope that you will consider my request.

Respectfully,

The Gates of Memphis

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Had a fun New Year's Eve. Since it was a Sunday, I started with brunch at Sleep Out Louie's, and hung around the entire day playing NTN Trivia. At one point in the afternoon regular blog reader Skippy made the mistake of challenging me to a trivia game, and I handed him a devastating loss. At 6 PM Crash Kole, Bobby Durango, and Smokin' Lemon took the stage:


They've been playing together for several months now and their act has gotten really tight. I could definitely tell Smokin' Lemon has been spending a lot of time practicing on the new guitar he got for Christmas.

At 8:00 we moved on to The Majestic Grille, where we had reservations for a table of 20. Their special New Year's Eve menu delivered the goods - I had a gorgonzola crusted filet with port wine reduction, with au gratin potatoes and broccoli, green beans, and snap peas sauteed in butter. Absolute best filet I've had in this city. They also had a gorgonzola encrusted ribeye which people told me was even better... ya know, I never order ribeyes when I go to restaurants. Probably because I ordered them at Bonanza when I was a kid. And at the time I thought "well done" (meaning: horribly overcooked) was the proper way to order a steak. Maybe I should give ribeyes another chance in 2007.

A lot of pictures were taken, and this time very few of them were taken with my camera, so I don't have a photo album to post. However, the picture of the night was taken by me - the Nuh-Uh Girl in a tube top:


The Nuh-Uh Girl and Chad tell me that they're going to try and get "blogworthy" added as a dictionary word. Example: "Is that tube top picture blogworthy?"

Thanks to Patrick and Deni at the Majestic for a great evening, and also thanks to our friend Mikey for setting up the reservations and the champagne. Good times.

Didn't make it to Big Foot Lodge on New Year's Eve, but I heard I missed some interesting developments that night. One of my blog readers knows what I'm talking about. If anyone has pics feel free to send 'em to me - I won't post 'em without permission, but wouldn't mind seeing them.

Wasn't awake on New Year's Day in time to hear Mayor Herenton's speech. However, I read some summaries later in the day, and the big news is that he wants to spend $30 million to build a new football stadium to replace the Liberty Bowl, with construction to begin in 2009.

I have to ask, WHY??? Why do we need a new stadium? Is the Liberty Bowl falling apart? Why is it that we can find $30 million to finance a new stadium, but we can't seem to find money to GIVE OUR POLICE OFFICERS THE RAISES THEY DESERVE??? Isn't that more important?

By the way, 5 years ago when the FedExForum was proposed, I was firmly and fully in support of building it, even if it meant raising taxes. I believed and still believe that bringing the Grizzlies to the city was a good move to make. But this is a different proposal. It's not like we have an NFL team saying, we're prepared to move to Memphis if you build us a stadium. Who's going to use the thing once it's built? Maybe if the Liberty Bowl were to be upgraded to BCS status, I could see it. But that's not going to happen. It just seems building it like a waste of money and we ought to be using it to pay our cops better. If there's a side to this story that I'm not seeing, please let me know.

Heard a rumor last night that the Hot Topic in Peabody Place Mall is closing, and they're selling everything in the store for 50% off, and some items are marked at 75%. So that might be worth checking out if you like their clothing.

I'm still off work this week, so I think I'll head out to the other mall today, the Wolfchase Galleria. I wonder how many residents of East Bumblefuck would list the Wolfchase Galleria as one of the Seven Wonders of the World? Quite a few, I'm sure. They'd probably list the Cordova Fox and Hound as one of the Wonders too. And Bahama Breeze.

Anyway, I'll have the camera with me, and if anything interesting happens out East (which I doubt) I'll take pictures. I'll be back downtown in time for Trivia Bowl tonight.
posted by Paul Ryburn

From: Joe Larkins

Winding Down the Old Year

Wow. Here it is December 27th and I'm asking, "Just where has the year gone!" I had a couple of minutes and thought I would stroll down memory lane.
WREG did NOT become WHBQ West after all. Two out of three frontline anchors is close but no cigar there. Still, it apparently helped with the formula to help boost the Station DOTR to the lead in certain time slots that they weren't already winning. They still have one more big time slot to hurdle in the race against WMC. We'll have to see how it goes in 2007. I'm sure the former ND DOTR wishes she had stayed a few more months so SHE could claim the victory, but alas, "It's all about timing". The current ND DOTR gets to put that feather in his cap.
Fox 13 proved they have a formula that works in the morning. They will continue to do well.
The ratings trend didn't help the manager situation at the Station on Union. First the GM departed back in the summer and speculation ran rampant about when ND Peggy Phillip would leave. That happened in December. Like her or not, the Pegster left her mark on the news business in the Bluff City. We'll see where she lands next.
Some long-time radio personalities in the Memphis market got the boot, thanks to the bottom line. I hope the New Year brings some good news for them.
The first rumor of the pending sale of the NYTimes Broadcast group surfaced last summer and was announced a couple of months later. Everyone with that organization is still waiting for that second shoe to drop. I personally think the asking price for TV stations may have dropped a bit since Clear Channel announced they were selling their TV holdings as well. Hey, you flood the market with properties and companies that want to invest get to pick and choose.
As I mentioned on the date of my one year of blogging last week, I've heard from a lot of folks. Most were nice, some were not. Hey, I will give the not-so-nice people the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they were having a bad day. I've learned a lot about trying to stay fair and balanced. I have tried to be fair about my observations. A few of you have let me know when I strayed. It can be hard not to jump into the fray.
And, I can't believe it's been almost a year since my Dad succumbed to cancer. I find I still reach for the phone on occasion to call him for advice before I realize those days are gone. Sometimes I just feel the need to talk to him. I really miss him.
All in all, it's been a good year. Like everyone else I've had some ups and downs. The bottom line is that my key still works at home so that means my lovely and talented bride Bethany hasn't changed the locks and the two pups, Newby and Mac still jump up in my easy chair for a butt scratch. Talk about unconditional love all the way around. I'm a lucky guy.
So while I got caught up in a last minute rush and failed to post a Christmas greeting as I had intended, I will post a New Year's wish to everyone who takes time to read this blog.
May the New Year bring you not so much what you want but what you need. And remember, sometimes wanting is indeed better than having.
Happy New Year everybody.

Regards,
Joe Larkins

posted by Joe Larkins

From: The Gates of Memphis

Use RSS, Memphis!

By gatesofmemphis

It sounds geeky, but it's more than geeky. Way more.

RSS, depending on who you ask, is either Really Simple Syndication, or Rich Site Summary, or something else. It's often called a newsfeed, or an RSS feed, and is identified by icons like the one to the left, or like this in Safari. What it really is a file that your web site provides giving a summary of your website's content, in a standard format. As your website changes, the file changes, so it provides an up-to-date summary of your website. Who uses it? Someone with a browser, an RSS reader or even another website. Because it's in a standard format, it can be used anywhere and by anyone who can think of ways to use it. Arguably the best use of it to date has been podcasting, where the RSS feed provides podcast receivers like ITunes with a link to recent MP3s and other multimedia files produced by the owners of that website. In short, a way to detour broadcasting hegemony.

But I'm not writing this to provide a crappy explanation of what RSS is. I write it because it doesn't appear that many Memphis institutions use RSS. I see very few of those icons when I visit non-blog Memphis websites. This is probably a legacy condition -- people have older websites created before the advent of RSS's popularity. But it's important that they change for 2 reasons:

1. not having RSS often means that your website is static. A web brochure. It doesn't change much; new data comes in and sits on a desk somewhere because it's too dang hard to put in a webpage. Your website is written in unchanged-by-data HTML and requires a web designer every time you want to change that. Which means that even though the world changes faster every day, you're communicating with that world in 1995 tools -- or not communicating because who has time to learn Dreamweaver or FrontPage (cringe!) or pay a web designer to let people know your organization needs money to pay your web designer. You might use the phone, but then you're using 1876 technologies. You need dynamic websites that are easy to update by everyone in your organization -- from the Executive Director to the Plant Duster. If you don't have RSS, chances are you're still hacking your way through HTML and your stale content shows it.

2. more importantly, RSS is a vanguard. It's the older brother of technologies, open and free and participatory, that allow the sharing and mashing up of your information. Sharing and mashing in ways you probably never imagined. By and with people who you never imagined might want to use it. If you're not using RSS, you're probably not sharing your information by any means but webpages (and badly at that if 1. above is to be believed). Sharing means new audiences, new partners, new markets, new capital, new funding, new friends, new ideas, new possibilities.

Memphis needs that stuff.

Use RSS, Memphis!

From: artbutcher

Resolutions

do more than i did last year

From: Life In & Around Memphis

Happy New Year, yall

Ok, I had a blast last night at Newby's. I need to upload my pics to the computer. But I'll get to that later. I have to get packed to go hunting tomorrow. I hope you had a great NYE wherever you were. So here are my resolutions for the New Year:

1. Get a job. No, wait. Let's make that a great job.

2. Save more than enough money to have a down payment on a house.

3. Pay off existing debt (which really isn't that much and makes this very possible).

4. Get weight below 185 and maintain that level for the rest of the year.

I don't know about you, but I think those are manageable.

posted by Philip

Saturday, December 23, 2006

From: Squirrel Squad Squeeks

Stick out your tongue

One day, Teh Boy is going to kill us.

Recently as Mama Squirrel and I were driving home from work, I veered off the road and into the parking lot of Taco Loco. Mama agreed with me that we needed a snack before we started dinner. I ordered us a quesadilla of suadero, succulent roast pork. I asked Mama if that would be enough. She left it up to me. I ordered a second quesadilla of carne asada, but they were out. "We have chicken and tongue", we were told. With a quick glance at Mama, I asked for "lengua". Another glance at Mama showed that she was unfazed. The dangerous part is not that Mama accepts me as I am; it's that she encourages me.

We both know by now not to try eating Taco Loco food on the way home. It's insanely hot. Besides, we couldn't eat this without Squirrelly, Jr.

Once we were home, we quickly figured out which quesadilla had the tongue. That is the one we gave Teh Boy.

Not long ago, we brought chicken foot home for Teh Boy to try. That experiment did not go well at all, and he wouldn't speak to us for hours after that. We were holding our breath as he bit into the quesadilla de lengua. No bad reaction. In fact, he dug in. As Mama and I were nibbling on our share of the quesadillas and puttering around the kitchen, Teh Boy sank into a chair and went to town with tongue.

When we asked him what he thought, he said that was the best quesadilla he ever ate. He asked when we could go back. We said we would go again soon and that maybe next time we should try the tongue. His immediate reaction was, "Oh, no. No tongue. I can't eat tongue. I wouldn't like tongue." So here we go. I asked him what he thought was in the quesadilla. He said, "beef". Mama said, "well, yeah." I just made rude gestures with my tongue. He looked at me and asked, "This is tongue?" One tense second passed as we waited to see if his head would asplode before he shrugged and said, "Huh. I guess I like tongue. Can I call Nana and tell her?"

Honestly, Mama and Teh Boy liked the tongue better than I did. I have had tongue once before. That time a big piece of tongue was cooked to doneness and put on a plate. That was pretty bad. At Taco Loco, they dice the meat and season it beautifully. The dish is very good, but the meat has a stronger flavor than I like. Still, I wouldn't hesitate to have it again, especially in one of those quesadillas. They were so satisfying that we never did make dinner.

Now I just have to convince the rest of the squad to try the tripe.

Taco Loco
3035 Lamar Ave
Memphis, TN 38114
(901) 743-9295

From: Bigger Than Your Head

A few minutes ago I posted on KoeppelOnWine.com a “Featured Article” page that reviews 20 sparkling wines and champagnes, priced from cheap to mind-boggling and designed to fulfill every need you might have for those delightful and profound products. I mean, Christmas is right around the corner! New Year’s is right around godme.jpg
the bend! Let our motto be: “We must have bubbles!”
Here’s the link to that page: http://www.koeppelonwine.com/Featured_Article.asp

From: at home she feels like a tourist

Bars of Memphis?

I like bars. Not all of them, of course. But a good bar is a perfect snapshot of night-time urban sociability: it's messy and chaotic, noisy and dark, full of oddballs, chance encounters, missed opportunities, a curious combination of hope and desperation (but then, there's nothing so curious about that, really), shadowy corners, midnight seduction rituals, poetic profanity, and the allure, promise, danger, and threat of strangers. There are yuppie bars and working-class bars, punk rock bars and trannie bars, dive bars and upscale cosmo-sipping bars, bike messenger bars and Young Republican bars and goth bars and dockworker bars and fashionista bars and Latino bars and everything in between - bars and their clientele represent the full spectrum of crazy, diverse cities. And the best bars jumble together strange and unpredictable combinations of subcultures and ethnicities and classes for a bizarre riot of voices and fashion sensibilties and generally embarrassing dancing styles. They feature well-known quirky regulars, beloved jukeboxes, bartenders who become minor celebrities, distinctive decorations and moods. There's something democratic - in the populist, bottom-up, anti-authoritarian way - about this messy, alchohol-tinged sociability. It's no wonder that bars have long been cradles of the revolutionary spirit in nations teetering on the edge.

But bars can only be as compelling as the city that houses them. So I'm pleased that I've stumbled into some great little places in my 4 months in Memphis. I love the spooky, crumbling, mysterious former brothel on the upstairs floor of Earnestine and Hazels, the crazy jumble of art, junk art, and caricatures covering the walls (and ceiling) at the P&H, and the rundown divey hole-in-the-wall feel of the Buccaneer (to say nothing of the pirate theme!) But I figured I'd ask you, oh knowledgeable readers, for your recommendations. Anything unpredictable, off-the-beaten-path, seedy-in-a-good-way, not in the guidebooks, catering to a truly odd clientele? Unload your thoughts on me - I'm on vacation in Boston, dreaming of M-town...

posted by fearlessvk

From: at home she feels like a tourist

Bars of Memphis?

I like bars. Not all of them, of course. But a good bar is a perfect snapshot of night-time urban sociability: it's messy and chaotic, noisy and dark, full of oddballs, chance encounters, missed opportunities, a curious combination of hope and desperation (but then, there's nothing so curious about that, really), shadowy corners, midnight seduction rituals, poetic profanity, and the allure, promise, danger, and threat of strangers. There are yuppie bars and working-class bars, punk rock bars and trannie bars, dive bars and upscale cosmo-sipping bars, bike messenger bars and Young Republican bars and goth bars and dockworker bars and fashionista bars and Latino bars and everything in between - bars and their clientele represent the full spectrum of crazy, diverse cities. And the best bars jumble together strange and unpredictable combinations of subcultures and ethnicities and classes for a bizarre riot of voices and fashion sensibilties and generally embarrassing dancing styles. They feature well-known quirky regulars, beloved jukeboxes, bartenders who become minor celebrities, distinctive decorations and moods. There's something democratic - in the populist, bottom-up, anti-authoritarian way - about this messy, alchohol-tinged sociability. It's no wonder that bars have long been cradles of the revolutionary spirit in nations teetering on the edge.

But bars can only be as compelling as the city that houses them. So I'm pleased that I've stumbled into some great little places in my 4 months in Memphis. I love the spooky, crumbling, mysterious former brothel on the upstairs floor of Earnestine and Hazels, the crazy jumble of art, junk art, and caricatures covering the walls (and ceiling) at the P&H, and the rundown divey hole-in-the-wall feel of the Buccaneer (to say nothing of the pirate theme!) But I figured I'd ask you, oh knowledgeable readers, for your recommendations. Anything unpredictable, off-the-beaten-path, seedy-in-a-good-way, not in the guidebooks, catering to a truly odd clientele? Unload your thoughts on me - I'm on vacation in Boston, dreaming of M-town...

posted by fearlessvk

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

From: Bar-B-Log

Smoking Turkeys

For all practical purposes, The Saucier is a libertarian. If you want to smoke, smoke. If you want to do so in a restaurant, knock yourself out. If the restaurateur would rather you didn't, get out. And if you don't want to work in a smoky environment, get another job. Anti-smoking legislation has nothing to do with public health. Like all politics, it's about money, power, control and self-righteousness.

With that, I give you guest Bar-B-Logger, RJA:

The Commercial Appeal today has a story regarding the proposed state-wide ban on smoking in all public buildings, with the focus being on restaurants and bars. I’m not here to argue whether this is a good idea or not, or whether the government should be going into private businesses to tell them what they can and can’t do. The solution seems like common sense to me – let the private business owner set his own policy and the free market will decide whether it’s a valid policy or not.

This is the Bar-B-Log, so if The Saucier will indulge me, I’m going to focus on the story below the fold, the one about The Rendezvous voluntarily initiating a no smoking policy as of Jan 11. I should point out that I’m a small business owner and that my business happens to be tobacco. The fact that they want to change their policy is their business, being able to make our own rules is why we go into business for ourselves. And I don’t dare tell the Vergoses how to run their operation, they run one of the best tourist traps in Memphis. My problem is with the hypocrisy, with these bar and restaurant owners spouting off about health and the well-being of their patrons. Nick Vergos is in the game of trying to get you to cram as much pork into your system as you could possibly handle. I can also visit the Rendezvous, drink draft Michelob after draft Michelob, put my family in the car and drive them across town. But there’s money to be made in fat. And there’s money to be made in beer. And if there was money to be made for him in tobacco, you can be sure Nick Vergos would baste it, chop it or pour it up with as much gusto as imaginable.

Monday, December 11, 2006

From: The Daily Diversion

HOME AGAIN!

Yes, I finally made it back home yesterday. I'm back in the office today trying to catch up on emails, reading Hilltopper Haven, and filling out expense reports.

I logged 875 miles from Friday, December 1st to Sunday, December 10. That's good for $389.38 in my pocket! Not too shabby, huh?

I've decided that I like Chattanooga, just not the drive there. I can't stand going up and down mountains. It's bad enough with me trying to control my vehicle around tight corners at 80 miles per hour, I don't need a tractor-trailer doing the same thing next to me! Those roads over there scare the hell out of me, and I couldn't imagine driving them in the rain, sleet, or snow.

My travels were relatively uneventful though. I got most, if not all, of my Christmas shopping completed (and wrapped too) while I was gone. I still have a couple of ideas, but we'll see if I can make them happen or not.

I had a couple of nice meals while on the road, but with the budget restrictions my job has put us travelers, we had to cut it back a bit. I will make one recommendation... If you happen to travel to Chattanooga, be sure to stop by Sticky Fingers BBQ. It's good stuff. They've got several sauces, which are all tasty! I had the rib sampler, where I could have four different sauces. I didn't get to thoroughly enjoy the habanero sauce because I was full from eating the three other styles. It was spicy though!

I didn't get to go to a couple of places I really enjoyed during my prior trip to Chattanooga though. That one meal, in and of itself, would've eclipsed my daily per diem for food, and I would've had to do some "creative accounting" to get that one paid for. Oh well! Maybe when I take my honey there sometime we can go there (on our own dime. Yikes!).

Really, there's not to much else going on here. I'm getting ready to start up a whole new "project" which will mean that I'll be insanely busy, again. It'll also mean that I might be a bit grumpy! My boss told me this morning that they'd like to have it done by the end of January. I gave him my best "good luck with that" face. We just started a "project", which I have plenty of work to do on, and they want to yank me off of it to start another one. Remember folks, you can only stretch a rubber band so far before it breaks and comes back and slaps you square in the face. Right now, there are a bunch of rubber bands that are pulled pretty damn tight!

On a positive note, since I didn't mean to vier off into something negative... I finally got to see my honey again! It seemed like it had been several weeks since we last saw each other, and I sure did miss her! I guess she missed me a little bit too. I think I made her day by not making her watch any sports yesterday once I got home! We'll see if that trend holds out tonight!

Inflicted on you by John

From: Whining & Dining

Plop, plop, fizz/fizz

Was it the gumbo or the Cajun chili I slurped at lunch at Bluff City Bayou? Or the 40 tons of stress sitting on my stomach? I'm a poster child for heartburn aids this afternoon...

I cajoled my buddy Dave to dig into his stash of ginger ale... close, but still feeling the burn.

Forgot my Tums at home... darn. In extreme cases, I'll even quaff a baking soda cocktail... (perfect prep for those burping contests!)

What works for you when there's a fire in your gut?

Posted by Leslie Kelly

From: Blake's Blog

Terminator.jpg

Could "Come with me if you want to live" be his new campaign slogan?

Just like the Terminator, Harold Ford Jr. vowed in a story in our local news section today that he'll be back.

But if he runs against U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander in two years, I'm wondering if it'll be his political career that gets terminated.

With Tennessee trending Republican in recent years, any Democrat faces tough odds in a statewide race. Not impossible, as Gov. Phil Bredesen has amply demonstrated, but tough.

The thinking here is that it would be a lot more difficult for Ford to beat a popular incumbent Republican than it would have been to win an open seat against Bob Corker, who had to survive a bruising primary that divided Republican party loyalties.

Losing a close race to Corker apparently didn't do much damage to Ford's political stock. But losing two races in two years might stigmatize him as, well, a loser.

Anyway, if Ford's got presidential ambitions, it's hard to imagine why he'd want to run for Senate anyway. This country hasn't elected a senator to be president since JFK.

Governors are a different story, though. Americans have elevated plenty of governors to the White House through the years. (In fact, trivia points to anyone who can name the last president who didn't serve as a governor beforehand.)

And if Ford were to run for the Tennessee governor's seat in four years, he might even be able to wrangle Bredesen's endorsement. (Which would be valuable as long as Bredesen remains popular during his final term.)

Of course, Ford will need to be doing something between now and then to keep himself busy and his name in the limelight. Selling Amway probably isn't going to cut it.

Speaking of Fords, Edmund's legal troubles got me to thinking about who might fill the City Council's District 6 seat if he has to step down.

I'm guessing either Jake or Sir Isaac (or both?) might jump in to make sure the seat stays in the family.

Posted by Blake Fontenay

Sunday, December 10, 2006

From: Rock 'n' Roll Minor Planets

So, maybe I'm semi-retired. Let's dispense with the usual "why I've been missing lately" crap and get to the good stuff.

Lately I've noticed something strange happening to my self-preservation instinict. Although I've never wanted to die in an unpleasant way, of course, I've never really feared death itself. It's funny to me that most religious people (who presumably believe in an afterlife) are so afraid to die. I just think of it as ceasing to be, not the Great Beyond or some unknown state of being. To my way of thinking, it is the opposite of being. I also think reincarnation is probably a part of it, but I don't think any single consciousness is preserved intact.

Anyway, my point in all this is pretty simple: For the first time in my memory, I'm sad at the thought of dying. Not really afraid of it, but sorrowful in thinking I might die before getting to do all the stuff I want, seeing places in the world I haven't yet, or generally missing out on the living stuff. I can't tell where this comes from. I also feel happier than I have--maybe ever. I'm generally a very content person, not patient with people around me who may be unhappy or dissatisfied with a world of their own making. (I usually think this is a result of choices or personality, both of which are under individual control, so it's hard to feel sorry for unhappy people. Feel free to disagree, but you likely won't persuade me.)

Interesting to ponder the sorrowful side of happiness. Unhappiness doesn't really have a flip side, though.

From: Click (Daily)

!Roller Derby!

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Friday, December 08, 2006

From: The Memphis Scene

I had been planning to root for the PrissKilla Prezleys over the Legion of Zoom in Saturday night's preseason roller derby bout -- if only because I think I know more of the former girls -- but the Legion is blowing up my comments, making me think I might need to switch my loyalties. It's as if the Legion has some kind of comment-generating bot out there ...

After writing about the Legion of Zoom, I couldn't help but look up this ...

Posted by Mark Richens

From: Letters to Larry

Jobs

Larry,

How's it going, old timer? I'm doing well. Just wanted to say hello. Let you know about some exciting things happening in my little world. Or, should I say, "Little World"? That joke never gets old.

Anna goes for her first ultra sound tomorrow. I think that I'm going to tag along to see what the baby looks like. I'm guessing that I won't be able to tell very much of anything but it will satisfy my curiosity.

I got a Wii last week. It's Wii-ly fun. Although, I think that I pulled a muscle playing so much; (the bicep, if you were wondering).

I think that Vietnam would have been a much more popular war had the turning point of said war been known as the Tit Offensive. It takes on a totally different meaning but, trust me, you would have loved it.

I thought of a sketch for SNL or even for Studio 60. I call it Pagan Girls Gone Wild. It practically writes itself. Nothing hotter than a Goth Girl flashing (boobs) and slashing (throats of livestock).

Oh, yeah. I'm thinking that I want to look for a new job. Not earnestly but in a very casual manner. I've made my resume public so maybe someone will happen along and find it and call me and offer me something that I will love. You can check it out here. If you know anyone that's looking, send them my way. Not opposed to relocating. Places that I would consider: TiVo, Anheiser-Busch, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, UPN, HBO, AOL/Time Warner, Victoria's Secret, Oprah Actually, I'm pretty open at this point.

So, not much of a point. Just wanted to say hello.

Oh, I'm reading a book right now that I can't get anyone to agree to read after I'm finished. However, I think that it's great and everyone should have to read it at some point in their lives. It's called The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. A must-read. And I mean it-you MUST! It's about Atheism.

Speaking of which, Anna and I had to drop by the grocery store on Sunday and pick up a couple of items. Actually, I went to the grocery store while Anna took a detour over to Hallmark. As I was entering Kroger, there were a group of ladies stationed in the lobby taking donations for something that felt church-related. I cut her off pretty quickly as she accosted me. "I'm an atheist", I said flatly as I sauntered by her. I've never seen someone look so horrified in my whole life. And I've done some horrible things. And I wasnt even serious. The Christians really have to lighten up a bit, I think.

Finally, I quit smoking. What a relief. I never thought that I'd get that monkey off my back. Thanks, Chantix!

Talk soon,

Paul

From: Jen-sized

Well lookie here!

While I was driving to work this morning, my gas light came on. I still had about 10 miles left to go, so I was cutting it pretty close. Fortunately when I left work my car actually started. So I hightailed it to the nearest gas station, where all the pumps were occupied. However, I saw no one actually pumping gas. There weren't any people sitting in their cars either. So while the fumes feebly powering my car were dissipating all these chumps were using the pumps as a PARKING LOT!

GOD THAT IS SO RUDE!

So then I turned on to Poplar in search of another station, and there were so many crackheads in there, and people turning their paychecks into lottery tickets, I almost gave up. But I'm home now, and the SNL rerun currently showing on E! is the one from last winter when Jack Black hosted. You'd think that with Jack Black hosting, even in this era of SNL, it'd be nonstop hilarious, but so far "Lazy Sunday" is the only funny thing I've seen. And of course I've already seen that.

-jen

From: artbutcher

It's Easier to Get a Show at the Brooks than the P and H




there is a review that came out
in the flyer
of steven and chris' work
at the brooks
and the last couple of lines are the greatest

"It's really flattering," Williams says of his invitation to show at the Brooks. The fact that he had two shows running simultaneously in Memphis, he maintains, is "pure coincidence."
"I'd booked the P&H last winter, and their waiting list is so long that it took until now for my name to come up," he says.

not even carol knowles
could come up with lines like that
thats right
people want the p and h art shows
people need the p and h art shows
not even the brooks
can plan as far in advance as me
but
now the self flattery is over
and
with the p and h in mind
dont forget about gabe martin tomorrow at 8:00pm
after chris wollards bfa and aaa show
after richard gambles introduction
to the memphis art world
and the p and h artbazaar
dont miss that on sunday
like you missed
virginias talk
about her piece
and egg nog martinis
and her
cube outside a square with a light on
or
something like that
i shouldnt make fun
as i need to stay in her house
when i go to nyc
to see pinkneys show

Friday, December 01, 2006

From: Bar-B-Log

5 Takes Memphis

All in all, the Travel Channel show 5 Takes: USA is pretty lame. Nothing seems very spontaneous, and the corporate sponsorships are over the top. The travelers, or TJs as they're called, are a bunch of doofuses. In fact, I think one of them is a bit touched in the head.

With that said, their recent visit to Memphis left our fair city looking like quite the place to be. As soon as the episode was over, I turned to E and said, "I wanna go there." Of course they made the requisite visits to Beale Street and Graceland, but they did some unexpectedly hip stuff too like visit Goner Records and take an American Dream Safari with our friend Tad.

What really crossed the t's with me was their avoidance of any barbecue joints. Instead, they went to a backyard BBQ in South Bluffs. The event came across as really staged, but I appreciated the unique effort.

We Memphians tend to be an apathetic and downright negative bunch when it comes to this town, but it was fun to see things through the eyes of a bunch of fer'ners. Apparently, there are some cool things happening in these parts. At least, that's what the Travel Channel would have us believe.

Monday, November 27, 2006

From: My Memphis Lawyer's Life and Work

Memphis BBQ

I think its time for me to weigh in on Memphis Barbecue. I’ve judged a couple contests and enjoy it throughly.

Interstate- Ribs 4.5 star – Barbecue 3.5- A bit overly chopped bbq. Very Smoky. Excellent ribs not too sugary. Sides a bit lacking. VERY good value.

Blue City Café- Ribs 5 star – BBQ none- Excellent ribs. Very expensive.

Corky’s – Ribs 4 BBQ 3 – A Memphis tradition. On a good day comparable with the best a lot of variation in the recent years.

Central- BBQ 2.5 – Dry and kinda tough. I think this place is overrated

BBQ Shop BBQ 4.5 Ribs 2- Tough Ribs excellent smoky BBQ- Most BBQ places do either shoulder or ribs well but not both.

Paynes- BBQ 5 Ribs 2 – Again excellent BBQ funky location. Don’t go at night worked a little on a gang related shooting near here.

Germantown Commisary BBQ 4 Ribs 2- Again a shoulder place. Excellent pie.

Tops- A chain but decent and very good value.


Movie Review- Stranger than Fiction- Excellent movie. Very moving. Has enough of that literary funky feeling to get into it but still be engaging. The performance of Dustin Hoffman as a supporting actor as a consulting literary professor was very good.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

From: theology & geology

Score

I opened the dryer and guess what tumbled out along with a sock and a pair of ratty underwear? Seven dollars, that's what.

Suddenly that $10.74 in my checking account doesn't make the day seem so bleak.

posted by theogeo

From: Fertile Ground

Snippets

I don't anticipate having a lot of time to really flesh out the weekend in my usual "hall monitor" way, so I offer you a brief recap.

Friday
After a Mediterranean feast, my brother agreed to hang out and do laundry while the monkeys slept, so Warren and I could go to Neil's and see my favorite band. I actually went a little early so that I could interview Kate, the lead singer, about being a rock star and a mom. It was my first ever face to face interview (I usually do them by email), and I wasn't quite sure what to do. Luckily, Angelina Rolie loaned me her tape recorder. And a tape. (I still scribbled notes wildly.)

Kate is a great interview, and a really cool person. I even snuck in a few questions to her husband and bandmate, Corey.

As we talked, people filtered in and when we were done talking, I looked up to see several people I knew scattered about the bar. "Why didn't you say hi?" I demanded.

"Because of the tape recorder!" They said. "You look so official."

The show was awesome, but I have to admit, by 12:30am I had to switch to Diet Coke for a much needed caffeine jolt. It's a good thing being a rock star is nowhere on my list of things to do. I just hope to someday have a block of time in which to transcribe my hour long interview with the Crowders!

Saturday
I woke up at 7:00am (ouch) and went to work until noon, took the boys (plus JP) to the playground for a bit, then hopped in Kel Diabla's car to start the journey to Collierville for the inaugural roller derby bout! We all had to be there at 4:00pm. Showtime was at 7:30pm.

Things actually seemed to be running extremely smoothly and it was fun to just hang out and breathe in the excitement. We had a packed house (sold out at 933 and turned away almost 100) and a action-packed game that was up for grabs until the last few minutes when the Angels of Death pulled out the lead to win 164 to 132 (or something like that).

I got to hang out in the center with the refs and help notify the refs, the coaches, and the players when they were in danger of getting 4 fouls and visiting the penalty box for a minute. Like I said, it was an action-packed game, so I was BUSY.

Warren and the monkeys enjoyed the game from the kids' area mostly, until they discovered the ice cream machine by the concession area. Luckily, Warren's motorcycle buddies (The former half of the Foster-Oster Gang) were in attendance and provided him with some adult conversation. He did a great job of keeping the monkeys under control and as usual, I didn't properly convey how much I truly appreciate him and his all out derby support.

Sunday
After the incredible success of the derby debut, I couldn't sleep. I stayed up all night making ravioli so the monkeys and I could prepare a fabulous meal for Warren, as a proper thank you.

Some friends joined ua and we spent all day hanging about, cooking, laughing, and talking. It was most awesome. Even better than going out to a restaurant or imaginary beer garden. I might have to share some more of my recipes...

posted by Stacey Greenberg

From: artbutcher

Happy Thanksgiving!

i had a good day today
i got a haircut
got the oil changed
washed the car
finshed a painting
went to the brooks
to see the sculpture show
again
also saw
steventroywilliams
and chris wollards show
washed four loads of laundry
made 1200 lines
on a piece of paper
cooked dinner
watched tony bennetts
birthday show
rented
wrath of khan
and watched an episode of
smith
on cbs.com
now tomorrow
i get to drive to dallas
with my wife
my brother
my nephew
and my girlfriend in law
play a heated game of risk
drink a bottle or seven of wine
smoke three cigars
go to the fort worth art museum
book a flight to nyc
a little treat before grad school
so i can see
the henry darger show
the john currin show
the david bates show
the brice marden show
the chie fueki show
the ellsworth kelly show
only if i lived in nyc
i could wish to live in memphis
so i could see
the don estes show
the class of 06 show
(BOOTLEG WINNERS)
the elizabeth alley show
the susan maakestad show
the jan hankins show
the mel spillman show
and the wangechi mutu show
ahhh
to be an artist

Sunday, November 19, 2006

From: The Soundcheck & The Fury

On harp (the musical instrument, not the beer)

So I'm sitting here on Saturday morning, listening to new weird folkie Joanna Newsom pluck her harp and sing in her precious, but not in a good way, cartoon voice. The critics rave about her, you know. On metacritic.com, the reviews added up to a 92 -- the third-best record of the year, so far. That's a notch ahead of Dylan's "Modern Times," and five ahead of the new Los Lobos. The likes of the Decemberists and The Hold Steady can merely stand back and gaze at the heap of praise at Joanna's bare (I'm betting bare, new weird folkie that she is) feet and say -- well, I don't want to put words in anybody's mouth. I'll just say that I prefer my harp in a bottle.


The album is called "Ys." I don't know how to pronounce it. I don't know if anyone can. Does it rhyme with "hiss"? Anyway, here's what some of the critics say:


Drowned in sound: "It’s a vivid and beautiful painting that you can walk into; a magic window into another world that I'd be happy to get lost in, and never come back."


Uncut: "For the 56 minutes that "Ys" lasts, all the doubts evaporate. Every elaboration has a purpose, every labyrinthine melodic detour feels necessary rather than contrived. Tempting as it is to fixate on the gilded reputations of her associates, this is unequivocally Newsom’s album."


Pitchfork: "The people who hear this record will split into two crowds: The ones who think it's silly and precious, and the ones who, once they hear it, won't be able to live without it."


But I can't get inside the damn thing, try as I might. I'm six minutes into the third of five songs, "Sawdust & Diamonds," and so far the only melody that's stuck is from the first song, the 12-minute "Emily." Thing is, isn't that the melody from Springsteen's "Spirit in the Night"?

posted by David Williams

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Recent Keyword Searches for Memphis Blogger

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Monday, November 13, 2006

From: hugh's blog

Act like a star

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw

I sat in on the saddest exchange I have ever heard the other day. I hang out, or lurk, in a lot of forums so I can stay on top of what is going on out there on the Interweb. On one of them the question was asked

“If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would you do?”

The range of answers ranged from Astronaut to Teacher, to Scientist, to Professional Dancer. People told tear-jerking stories of their love for music, the way they enjoyed baseball as a child, how happy they were when surrounded by little children. They were spilling their guts, sharing their dreams.

Well, I could not resist asking the obvious question:

“How many of you are doing these things for a living”?

In over 80 responses, not one was doing what they would love to do for a living. Now, don’t get me wrong, everybody had a reason. Age, health, family circumstance, education, children, no credit, to much debt, no money, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

I don’t understand: If you are not doing what you want to be doing, why aren’t you? When will you? What is going to change that will allow you to think you can do it?

In college, I remember sharing a history class with a lady who was in her late 70’s. She was working on a degree in American History. When the instructor commented on her age, she said her family was scandalized that Grandma was going back to college. She said they told her she would have to take classes for at least 5 years to get her degree, and by then she would be 80 years old.

She told them that in 5 years she would be 80 anyway, the only question was if she would be 80 and have a degree, or be 80 and not.

The next five years are going to pass. Will you just be five years older, or will you be five years older and doing something you love?

This is NOT a rehearsal for your life. This is the Main Event, the big show.

Ask yourself this: Am I acting like the star of my own show, or am I content to be an extra in someone else’s movie?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

From: Urf!

Happy Birthday, Click

Tonight was the birthday party for Shannon, who is pushing 40 now. A real, grown-up party with beer and a band and friends and some more beer. Kristy tried to arrange for a sitter – her parents – but, inexplicably, they were going to a concert at The Coliseum. So, not only were our kids still at home, but their cousin was along for the ride. I really wanted to go to the party and Kristy wanted to go to the party, and what did Kristy say? “Go. Have fun.” How about that? Just one reason I love this woman so much. So as a possible topic for the concession speech for the Husband of the Year award, I left her alone with five children. I feel terrible about that. But that party was a lot of fun.

Here is who was at the party: friends and family, pierced people, bald people, Asians, Ultimate Frisbee players, artists, roller derby queens, a newspaper maganate, moms, dads, grandparents, film makers and musicians. Click was there, of course, as was Elizabeth, Toby, Hamlett, Julie, Stacey, Warren, Heather (who has a brand new baby and a brand new URL that I have not been made privy to), Rodney, Christa and Mr. and Mrs. Dwayne (with all these bloggers, it was as though Memphis Blogger had made out the guest list). I had a long talk with Hamlett, wherein we decided that the internet was indeed an amazing thing that seemed to encompass the world. Then he and I talked movies with Dwayne. People danced like The Peanuts outside in 30-degree weather and tonight, for the first time ever, I was recognized as the author of Urf! And it was by one of my favorite commenters, a lovely woman, the mother of Brian, who I even told the real names of The Quartet. I was told by others that they feel like they know my children, though I assured them this is all made up, that I’m really a single 21-year-old living in my mother’s basement in a split-level ranch house just outside Minnetonka, MN. And then I was given some advice on what to write about. We discussed back surgery and I showed my scar, right there in the Dixon kitchen, to Warren.

All in all, it was a great night. I only wish Kristy could have been there. In a strange twist, most of The Quartet was going to spend the night with their grandparents later in the evening, leaving just a manageable GK at home. When everyone asked why I was leaving the party, I explained this to them and they all understood. Maybe I’ll have a party like this for my next birthday. Maybe I can get 1/16 of the people to show up. And maybe, just maybe, one of these fine people will write about how much fun it was on their blog.

Friday, November 10, 2006

From: Sketchwork


San Francisco 8



10/27/06

Sheesh! Did that seem like the longest trip or what?! This is from breakfast on the day we left.

From: Wineography

Question One: Booze Edition

While Tennesseans have spent the past several months pondering our own ballot questions, the fine folks of Massachusetts (I'm ashamed that I just had to look up how to spell that) have just finished wrangling over whether or not they want to be able to buy wine in supermarkets.

And the people have spoken and sent a resounding HELL NO to the powers that be.

Alls I can say is Whaaa?

As a resident of a state with wacky liquor-related laws, I am continually fascinated with the idea of purchasing spirits in other locations than seedy liquor stores where they shove everything in a brown bag inside another brown bag, so the God-fearing people on the streets don't have to be confronted with the knowledge that you, at some point in the future, are going to get a little tipsy and commit a social faux pas that will haunt you 'til your lonely, pathetic death.

So when I see a relatively progressive state like Massachusetts pooh-pooh the idea of strolling from the toilet paper to the orange juice to the dry reds, I marvel at the weirdness. Who wouldn't want to be able to buy booze in the damned grocery store?

Other than package-store owners, that is.

Apparently the liquor lobby pulled a Hail Mary to come from behind and defeat the ballot initiative.

Polls taken two weeks before the election showed Question 1 favored by a two-to-one margin among those surveyed. The opponents blitzed TV and radio airwaves with ads portraying the proposal as a public safety issue. They claimed teenagers would be more likely to obtain alcohol because convenience stores also could apply for wine licenses if the question were approved.


Right. Because teens are all about waltzing into a Piggly Wiggly to buy a $16 bottle of wine when they could just go to MapCo and buy $8 worth of beers and get equally as drunk.

Anyway, too bad for Massachusettianistans. I feel their pain. The lack of availability of wine in grocery stores confounds me. Not only does it suck outright having to hoof it to a liquor store — which, thanks to the laws 'round these parts, close at 11 p.m. on every night but Sunday, when they're not open at all — but it also undoubtedly keeps prices from being very competitive across the board. Just imagine the creative discounts the supermarkets and liquor stores could launch to best one another. Just imagine the savings! Just imagine the slurred speech and stumbling and fuzzy holiday memories!

Maybe one day, when Tennessee is done putting Teh Gays in their place, we'll tackle an initiative like this.

posted by theogeo

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

From: Secret Agent Mom

The Guy Said Honey, You're A Funny Girl

I had been hoping to launch an unofficial NaBloPoMo over here, but I've been too busy working on my bit for the The Funniest Mom in America competition. Yes, the agent is stepping out of the green room and onto the stage, thanks to the supportive goading of Stacey and the somewhat unsupportive smirks from certain friends who think I can only be funny in two dimensions (suck it, Cory!). It seemed like an amazingly well-timed chance to follow up on my life-long dream of pursuing stand-up comedy, so in a swift move that surprised everyone who's ever met me, I read about the Memphis auditions and immediately emailed the local comedy club for a spot. And I got one. And now ... I have to show up. With the funny. I secretly slipped some of my bit onto the playgroup moms this morning, and it went very well, but I know that the Wednesday night crowd at Comedy, TN isn't likely to be a bunch of sleep-deprived mamas. But hopefully, it'll be some of you. Did I mention that it's November 15? At 8:15pm? Bring all your hard-drinking, child-humor-loving friends!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

Welcome COGIC

This is the week when the saints of COGIC gather in downtown Memphis for their annual convention. Welcome, and if you have any questions about the area that you'd like to ask a local, feel free to e-mail me.

One of the best ways to celebrate the abundance that God has given you is to share that abundance with others. To that end, I'd like to ask you to please tip your servers well when you go out to eat at downtown restaurants this week. With so many people in town, the servers are going to be extremely busy, and they deserve to be compensated well for their hard work, don't you agree?

A standard tip at a restaurant is 15%. For your convenience, I have computed 15% of common amounts below.
  • 15% of $10.00 = $1.50
  • 15% of $20.00 = $3.00
  • 15% of $30.00 = $4.50
  • 15% of $40.00 = $6.00
  • 15% of $50.00 = $7.50
  • 15% of $60.00 = $9.00
  • 15% of $70.00 = $10.50
  • 15% of $80.00 = $12.00
  • 15% of $90.00 = $13.50
  • 15% of $100.00 = $15.00

If you make special requests of your server - food prepared a special way, substitutions, etc. - you may want to consider tipping your server a little extra, say, 20%. Again, for your convenience, 20% of common amounts is below.
  • 20% of $10.00 = $2.00
  • 20% of $20.00 = $4.00
  • 20% of $30.00 = $6.00
  • 20% of $40.00 = $8.00
  • 20% of $50.00 = $10.00
  • 20% of $60.00 = $12.00
  • 20% of $70.00 = $14.00
  • 20% of $80.00 = $16.00
  • 20% of $90.00 = $18.00
  • 20% of $100.00 = $20.00

Also, please keep in mind that if a restaurant does not give a COGIC discount, it's a policy set by management. Your server has no influence over that policy and does not deserve to be penalized on his or her tip. If you only want to eat at restaurants that give COGIC discounts, it would be a good idea to ask about this before you are seated.

I personally can attest that when you freely share your bounty, as God Himself would, with all those around you, it comes back to you tenfold and more. So please keep that in mind when you sit down to eat in downtown Memphis this week.

Again, welcome. Thank you for spending you tourism dollars in Memphis, and if you have questions about Memphis just ask.

Monday, November 06, 2006

From: Downtown Books

We are growing up.

Our blog is, anyway.

We have decided to get a self-hosted blog, so we can have a bit more control over it. Also, this way we can integrate it into our website (whenever that happens....)

Anyway, please update your feeds and such, because we can now be found at

http://memphisbookshop.com/wordpress/

The new blog will (eventually) have many new features, such as categories, a better comments system, and lots of other things I am not cool enough to yet understand.

I look forward to seeing you over there.

posted by Hugh Hollowell

From: Whining & Dining

Farmer's market lives!

The official Memphis Farmers Market is shuttered for the season, but a few purveyors are gathering on Saturdays outside Cafe Francisco on North Main.

Bought some beautiful salad greens, baby spinach and pea vines from my favorite Mississippi gentleman farmer/NWA airline pilot... chefs, take note: this is amazing stuff!

And the meat man was there... last Saturday, I ran into the Squirrels (their blog comment handle), who inspired me with their mission of roasting soup bones they bought from the meat man. Sadly, he didn't have any this trip, but we chewed the fat.

I asked about how he raised his cattle, and he said they grazed on grass to 700 pounds, then finished off with corn. I said something about cows were not really meant to eat corn, and he said: "You read 'Omnivore's Dilemma' didn't you?" Guilty!

What he said made some sense, and I appreciate his good practices, especially dry-aging the beef... something very few processors do.

That reminded me of a conversation I had earlier in the week with food editor Jennifer Biggs about the distinction between food that's grown or raised under strict organic rules, and crops/animals done old-school... something people refer to as authentic. It's a complex world out there, with corporations in the organic biz... I still cannot bring myself to buy packaged spinach... well, except from the man from Holly Springs. Go see him next Saturday!

What about you? Are you steering away from certain foods because of the way they're raised/grown? Or, is it a matter of price?

Posted by Leslie Kelly

Sunday, November 05, 2006

From: Fertile Ground

Love at First Sight

Several months ago, I fell in love.

With Pocky.



And now it is all mine.

See it for yourself (as well as 14 other amazing paintings by Elizabeth Alley) at Perry Nicole Fine Art (a.k.a. the original home of Mothersville)during the month of November.

posted by Stacey Greenberg

From: a pulp faction

A self-indulgent post riddled with parentheses.

Time for a break from magazine production, or I will surely suffer a bad case of burn out and it will never get done.

I've surprised myself with this all, lately. See, somewhere in the back of my mind I'm aware of the fact that I am capable of amazing feats of discipline and self-control and do in fact posses a selectively stellar work ethic. I frequently forget this, however, thanks to my tendencies towards drinking and sleeping a lot and watching too much TV and otherwise taking a rather lackadaisical approach to life. This project is bringing all the good stuff out, with the help of a little more coffee than I usually consume. (Ok, actually my drink of choice is a Cafe Con Pana, a double espresso topped with whip cream. Dreamy.)

The point is that I feel really accomplished, it feels good to be working on something I believe in, something that challenges me without it being some impossible thing which will surely break me.

I'm about to be sappy, if you're not in the mood for it don't read it. I'm about to tell you how I wake up every day and find myself thinking it's an effing beautiful day. (WTF is up with that. This isn't exactly Mr. Roger's neighborhood.) Even that one day after Halloween when it was all foggy and misty. I find myself appreciating the trees and how many of them there actually are around here compared to a lot of places and how pretty their leaves are this time of year. I find myself working harder for my boss (Yes, I still suffer from the affliction of a day job,) and taking deep breaths when I go outside and cussing a lot less when I drive. (It's still a lot though, you should call me sometime when I'm driving home from work. It's hilarious.)

Though I haven't done laundry in over a month (it's ok, I own lots of clothes for this exact reason,) and I really don't shower as often as I probably should and some might say I'm cultivating a hair style rather reminiscent of Einstein in his later years, things are actually going quite well and frankly, this has been an entirely self-indulgent post serving only to convince me of that fact.

posted by pulpfaction

Saturday, November 04, 2006

From: Paul Ryburn's Journal

First impression: EP's Delta Kitchen and Bar on Beale Street: AWESOME

Tonight, after a couple of beers at the Tap Room, I stumbled into EP's Delta Kitchen and Bar, located in the old Elvis Presley's Memphis building at Second and Beale. Now, I had to get by there at some point this week and then write about it in my blog, because my friend and former neighbor Mike (who used to be the chef at McEwen's) is at EP's now and designed the menu. "All right," I thought. "If this place sucks as much as Elvis Presley's Memphis did, I'll bury it in a ____day Update post and give it two sentences in the middle of nine other bullet points."

EP's gets its own post.

EP's gets its own post and my recommendation to GO THERE AND EAT. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Let's start out with the decor: It's superb. Think Swig, Dish, Bluefin, but with the soul of Beale Street. The furniture, the lighting, the music, make it feel hip, yet you never forget where you are.

I asked the staff for a few recommendations. One that was pointed out repeatedly was the pork loin stuffed with house-made sausage. Comes with sweet cornbread pudding and creole mustard demiglace.

Another popular recommendation was the stuffed portabella mushrooms with shrimp, spinach, and caramelized onions. Another was the fried green tomatoes with tomatilla sauce and pear compote - "we're taking fried green tomatoes to a whole new level." Also highly recommended was the smoked duck seafood gumbo. But really, just ask to look at the menu. You can't go wrong. They told me they want to be on a level with Stella, McEwen's, Felicia Suzanne's, etc. within a year, and based on the menu they're already there on their second day.

By the time I got there, they had rolled off the regular menu and onto their late night menu. From that, I had the Lobster Pronto Pup - a corn dog, but with lobster rather than a hot dog inside, over a bed of greens - SO good. Also recommended on the late night menu is the nachos with sweet potato chips, pepper jack and crawfish.

To drink, I had a peanut butter and banana cocktail, with Godiva liqueur, 99 Bananas, vodka and amaretto. It comes garnished with a banana chip. Yummy.

As Mike the chef explained it to me, EP's knows they'll draw tourists solely based on location but "we want to cater to locals. We want a place where they can relax and feel at home. We don't expect to see the same people every night of the week, but we want it to be the place they go when their mother comes to town to visit. (Attn Mama: when you come to town, we need to eat here) We want it to be the place you bring Uncle Todd for his 56th birthday."

For those Downtowners who go to a bar for the people as much as for the food and drinks, Ugly Steve (formerly of the Tap Room/King's Palace) is bartending downstairs, and Hooper (formerly of Dan McGuinness Pub, and before that, Downtown Huey's) is upstairs.

I asked how late they planned on staying open tonight - some places that are more restaurant than bar close early. "Oh, we'll be here until about 2:45," I was told.

This place SO makes me wish I had a girl I was seriously interested in so I could take her to dinner there. If this place doesn't impress, I don't know what will.

Attn Rapscallions: Dinner at EP's after trivia Tuesday night?

From: Letters to Larry

Positive

Larry,

Guess what? I'm positively positive that the test Anna just took was positive. I know that it's customary to wait some time before telling people but I wanted you to know. You are the 7th person to know officially. I hope that we aren't tempting fate by spilling the beans early. Here's my chance to prove my theory about Karma. Basically, I think that I've done so much bad in my life, nothing good will ever happen to me ever again. We'll see. I'll keep you posted. And I didn't forget about you either. I'll be sending you some stuff about Costa Rica soon. Oh, and we've got the wedding pictures as well. You can take a gander at those here. I hope that you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed being in them. Sarcasm, meet Larry. Larry, sarcasm.

Paul

From: The Daily Diversion

ODDITIES AND ABNORMALITIES...

Okay, so it's been a little while since I last posted. I know that. However, I'm going to try to keep this short and too the point (which never happens).

We had something very strange happen today. It was actually snowing when I went to lunch today. Yes, at 12:35 pm, in Memphis, on November 1st, 2006, we had snow flurries. It wasn't really coming down hard or anything. I know! Some people would say, "John, you're an idiot! That was just rain. It was drizzling!"

Well folks, I know the difference between rain and snow, and this, my friends, was snow. It didn't last long and it never showed up on the ground, but it was hitting me in the face on my walk home. My co-worker will back me up on this.

Another thing of note...

I started writing again today. It's not anything that I plan on posting, because I'm hoping I can put it all together and have something really special. It all relates to a dream I had this morning. I woke out of it, but couldn't find my pen and paper. So, I made a voice record on my phone, but didn't need it. I remembered everything about the dream when I actually got up, and had some more stuff to add to it by the time I got to work. I need to do some research on quite a bit of stuff to really bring it all together, but I'm hoping for something great. Wish me luck!

Okay, I'm out! Hopefully not for as long as last time!

Inflicted on you by John